Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Separating myself from the animals

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize" -- Clairee Belcher

I must confess:  when it comes to accessorizing, I'm a dismal failure.  I have no idea on how to take a scarf or brooch or necklace and add it to my typical ensemble of yoga pants and Target brand v-neck t-shirt to give it some stylish flair.  

Yes, yes, I know.  Yoga pants and Tar-Zhay t-shirt is not going to win me any fashion awards unless it's a Fashion Citation award and Oh!  I found a place online where you can order actual Fashion Citations and how funny would THAT be to head to a mall and hand them out?  Except based on MY fashion choices, it would be rather hypocritical.  But still fun.

Anyway.  One of my "goals" for this year is to start adding some accessories and yes, upgrade from yoga pants to at least a nice pair of jeans (dark wash) for every day wear.  But I'm not giving up my TarZhay t-shirts.  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

Have you seen those YouTube videos of teen, tween and pre-teen girls who are these little Fashionistas and go shopping and then model what they've bought for their viewers?  Some of these CHILDREN have even been hired by department stores to shop and promote stuff.  They're being PAID TO SHOP!!!

I am in awe of their ability to not only match this top with those pants and shoes but also throw in some basic accessories and voila!  Instant cute.  While I struggle to match a pair of khaki pants with a blue t-shirt.  Why don't they have Garanimals for adults, is what I'm asking.

So a couple of weeks ago, I headed to the Antique Swap meet here in Long Beach in my quest for Accessories.  I'm thinking costume jewelry and figured I'd find interesting things there.  And I discovered that 1950's and 60's costume jewelry is HUGE at the swap meet.  Had I kept all of my Gramma's costume jewelry, I'd have been set.  My Gramma had many matching necklace/earrings/brooch sets but not knowing any better, I donated most of it to the Long Beach Junior League for their annual rummage sale and was absolutely shocked to see The Gramma Collection (as we called it) included with the Fine Jewelry and snatched up almost immediately.  The Sustainers who were in charge of the Fine Jewelry told me the Gramma Collection was the most popular items they had.  Who knew?  Obviously, not I.

So while at the swap meet, I bought 2 vintage necklaces (and a 1950's Nancy Drew Mystery Game that I could have turned around and sold to another vendor for double my money just a few rows over) and yesterday, I decided to wear one of the necklaces to accessorize my jeans-and-tshirt ensemble.
And this photo explains why I rarely allow someone to take my picture because photogenic I am Not.  And holy cow, look at the size of my boobs!  I certainly don't need to worry about drowning with those flotation devices, sheesh! And that is my cute Gracie Lou on the floor, no doubt full from eating my sunglasses.

As I put it on, I told myself that as soon as either of my kids saw it, they would ask why I was wearing a necklace because they know it's out of the ordinary for me.  And sure enough, when I picked Thing 2 up from school, the first thing she said to me was, "Why are you wearing that necklace?" and when Thing 1 walked in the door from school, the first thing he said to me was, "I'm hungry.  Why are you wearing that necklace?"  And TheManTheMyth got home from work and said, "The dog pooped on the patio, what's with the necklace?"

I guess my attempts to accessorize and add a little style isn't fooling my family.



  1. Holy cow girl, that's some serious breasticles there! I tend to wear my Target t shirts with either jeans or dockers. But I am a huge wearer of jewelry or scarves. Or both. I found some really cute scarves at Walgreen's this fall for dirt cheap, like 2 for $5.00 or something.

    I don't have much in the way of expensive glamourous jewelry, but lots of cute, kitschy stuff.

    I like that necklace. Show some pics close up of it and the other new/vintage ones.

  2. That's a lovely pair...of necklaces, Kelly.

  3. That is a fabulous necklace. Keep on wearing it! I just bought a pearl and rhinestone choker at a consignment store for six bucks in Chicago and it's my new favorite piece. I get compliments on it all the time.

    I'm good at fashion, but I had to learn accessorizing from my girls. They're brilliant at it. That necklace is awesome. Wear it proudly. And you look fabulous with your impressive ta tas.

  4. your boobs are great. i am 24 and i think u r a milf