Friday, September 16, 2011


I'm feeling like crap today.

Squishy AND warm.  Except I can't seem to get warm. 
But seriously, I've got a funky headache and my shoulder blades ache and that usually means a fever is on the way.


I'd like to blame Thing 2, or as I like to call her, "Typhoid Kaylyn" because she's been a petri dish full of germs all week and she believes in Sharing the Wealth.

Unless we're talking monetary wealth.  She don't share that shit.

So thank you my darling daughter.  You Giver, you.

So, the kitchen remodel is moving right along.  I guess.  The latest installment was the installation of the new pantry:
Which is unfinished, in case you were wondering.  But we had to get it into the house and wasn't THAT an adventure.  It involved three people, a hand-truck/dolly thingamajig AND a Fusion Scooter
for that Professional Furniture Mover touch.  And once we got it in the house and raised it in place, we discovered that it was just a teensy-weensy bit too tall.  So TheManTheMyth made some adjustments of some sort using some kind of tools (I was playing Solitaire on the computer so don't ask me what kind of adjustments or tools he used, 'kay?) it was installed and bolted to the wall and ceiling so that it won't come crashing down in the middle of an earthquake.

So the next step was to get the microwave off the counter and into its niche.

And it didn't fit.

Of course.

Just a teensy-weensy bit too tall.

Oh, you wanna hear something weird?  

Of course you do.

You know how the other day I mentioned that there were swarms of flies in my office and in the kitchen a la "Amityville Horror?"

Well, the very next day they were all gone.  JUST LIKE THAT!!  They weren't smashed with a flyswatter or sprayed with Raid Flying Insects bug spray.  They were just...Gone.  With the Wind.

Oh yeah, I have to make a correction about something.  In THIS post, I referred to Someone as Thing 1's "Girlfriend" and Someone got their panties in a twist because of that, because she is NOT his "girlfriend" any longer so pardon me.  My error. 
Oh my God, Oh my God!  Teemu Selanne is not retiring and will play another year with the Anaheim Ducks!

Oh, I'm a Happy Camper.  And am anxiously awaiting for the puck to drop on October 6.

Three more weeks.  Three more weeks.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Did you see that the demand for the limited Missoni for Target stuff caused Target's website to crash?

Now I may not be a Fashionista in any way, shape or form, but I DO know what Ugly looks like and well, that's what that Missoni stuff is, Ugly.

When I saw Missoni's trademark Zig-Zag design, all I could think of was A) we used to have an afghan in that exact same pattern and 2) Kitty Foreman's living room called and wants its decor back.


That look was ugly in 1974 and in 2011, it's still ugly yet people were lining up before the stores opened and then ran in an scooped up anything and everything Missoni.  One guy admitted he spent almost $4000.00 (FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!) on stuff and that he would be selling it on eBay.  For way more than he paid for it and anyone who pays the inflated prices deserves to look awful is what I'm saying.

I mean really, how does anyone think this stuff is even remotely attractive?

Or flattering?  Unless you're an anorexic teen, horizontal stripes are NOT your friends, people!

Just looking at the zig-zag pattern gives me a headache:
I was going to show a picture of the afghan we had in our house back in the 70's but my stupid printer/scanner has been acting like a piece of poo and won't cooperate but our afghan looked like the one above except ours was in different shades of blue.  So it wasn't quite as ugly as the one pictured above.

In other news, the kitchen is, well, there.  The latest appliance to sit in the middle of the kitchen is my trash compactor while TheManTheMyth prepares the new pantry cabinets.  And of course, he's been working this week which means work on the kitchen has slowed to a crawl but I'd rather he have work than not have work and I seriously don't expect our kitchen to be finished this year and if you think I'm joking, I'm not.  Our master bathroom shower still lacks a shower door after 5 years since we remodeled the bathrooms.  

In still other news, do you remember that scene in "Amityville Horror" where swarms of flies would cover the windows and attacked the priest?

If you were to come to my house right now, we could reenact that scene because swarms of flies have taken over my office and my kitchen.  We experienced this last year at this time so I'm going to assume it's seasonal or weather-related and not because there's a demon pig with red eyes named "Jody" staring at us through the window.  Oh, and spiders are everywhere.  Only they're outside and not in the house.  Although I'd rather have spiders in the house instead of the flies.  Spiders don't bother me.  Except when they spin their webs across my front steps at eye level and I don't see the web and I walk right into it and then I'm flailing about trying to remove sticky spider web from my face and hair.

So between my kitchen remodel and the swarms of sluggish flies, I just can't understand why I don't get more visitors.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Yes, I remember where I was when the first plane hit the World Trade Center.  I was asleep.  What, it was 5:45am here.  The phone rang and it was our friend Steve telling me that I needed to turn on the news RIGHT NOW.  Don't ask questions, just turn on the news.  

First there was Disbelief.  I mean really, how does a plane just not happen to notice the ginormous skyscraper?  Was the pilot asleep at the wheel?  How sad for the people on the plane and those in the WTC who were obviously killed when the plane hit.  But this was a fluke, right?  An accident.

But then ANOTHER plane hit the OTHER tower and that's when it became obvious that something was very, very wrong.  That this was no accident.

And then still another plane crashed into the Pentagon and another plane crashed into a field in Pennsylvania.  And the Twin Towers came down.

Out of everything that happened that day, what I still remember the most was the Sounds of Silence in the skies.

I live in the flight path of LAX, Long Beach airport and the Joint Forces Training Base at Los Alamitos.  All day, every day, there are aircraft of all kinds flying over my house.  747's, 737's, C17's, fighter jets, small single-engine private planes, even vintage DC3's that carry mail and supplies over to Catalina Island.  Air Force One has even flown over my house.  I'm used to hearing aircraft.  And like a kid, I'll go running outside to watch the airplanes fly over.  I always have.

But within hours after it was apparent our country had been attacked, the skies became eerily silent.

For a couple of days afterward, I strained to hear something, anything.  And then I heard it.  The sound of a small single-engine plane.  I went running outside to see it.  

And yes, I started to cry at the sight and sound of it.

10 years later, I still get choked up when I remember the Sounds of Silence in the Skies.