Ok, so it's been several days since I've been paired up with Stephanie to do a Random Act of Kindness and I gotta say, it's not looking good for me. Just tonight I pretended I didn't hear the panhandler roaming the parking lot of the supermarket because I'm so used to having Selective Hearing when it comes to panhandlers and solicitors and "sign my petition" people. Although I've given the same guy money several times because he's very polite and quiet while he sits outside the various stores and also because he's the Dead Ringer of a friend of mine. I'll have to ask RElmo if he has a "down on his luck" brother because the resemblance is uncanny.
And speaking of dead, I had to add 3 people to the "Dead to Kelly" list for talking smack about my boyfriend, George (HOT!!) Parros
on an Off-Road motorcycle racing message board (of course) on a thread that was originally about celebrity encounters but (thanks to me) somehow evolved into an intense thread (read: argument) about Hockey fights and fighters and someone dissed MY George and well, the figurative gloves were dropped and sadly, three people did not survive. I hate it when that happens but hey, don't be dissin' my man George. Because he's HOT. I'll take George, black eyes, broken nose and other scars over those pasty white "Twilight" dudes any day.
So, back to my RAK challenge. Dang that June for throwing down the gauntlet! Yesterday I had to take Thing 2 to the orthodontist for her routine checkup and sitting right there in the waiting room was a big barrel where patients are supposed to donate canned food and did I have a can of yams in my purse? No. Because even though I got the e-mail letting me know about the canned food drive, it never even occurred to me to slip some can goods into one of the several eco-friendly canvas shopping bags I keep stashed in my not-so-fuel-efficient-after-all vehicle but always forget to bring into the store with me so I wasn't able to look good while doing good by helping to feed the hungry because I SUCK at doing Random Acts of Kindness.
I'm not giving up on my quest to be the Stranger of which Kindness depends on. I'll get my chance when I least expect it. Because then it'll be all RANDOM, which IS the point.
A couple of days ago, June over at Bye Bye Pie, issued a challenge to her faithful readers. This holiday season, instead of the usual gift/cookie exchange, she asked her faithful readers, of which I am one because she's hilarious and I love the photos of her dog Tallulah trying to hump her cat Winston because I'm kinky like that, to team up and do Random Acts of Kindness, or "RAK" and report back on her site.
I'm all, "I'm in!" because I hate gift exchanges and the only cookies I like are chocolate chip with walnut cookies fresh from the oven while they're still soft and gooey because I don't like hard, crunchy, crispy cookies so doing a cookie exchange, which I SO don't "get," is useless for me to participate in. Not that anyone has asked me. I think everyone knows my stand on this.
One of the reasons I hate gift exchanges with strangers or co-workers is that one of the pair will pick out something thoughtful/funny/useful/frivolous and the other one will do something like give you a ginormous gift basket wrapped with ribbons and bows and bells and jing-tinglers and you're all "SCORE!" and when you tear open the wrappings, you discover a single, solitary small bottle of dust covered Oil of Olay buried deep within the straw that fills said ginormous basket and you're all "What the hell?" as you "thank" the giver. Yeah, I just LOVE gift exchanges.
So anyway, I'm paired with Reader Stephanie and we each have to do a RAK (or more) and report back to June.
Now here's the hard part. People who know (and love) me know that I'm not only selfish but self-centered and lazy as well. And this type of gift isn't the kind you can just pick out at the drugstore gift counter. I have to actually make an effort! And the way I look at it, it can't be something as easy as dropping the loose change in the nearest Salvation Army red kettle. And it shouldn't be premeditated. The best kind of RAK just HAPPEN. Unfortunately, refraining from firing an RPG at the twit in her Lexus who totally cut me off on the freeway and then kept drifting into my lane because she was too busy texting to pay attention to actually DRIVING probably doesn't count as a RAK although I know *I* would feel happy and fulfilled.
My friend Bubbles said a nice RAK would be to pay for the order of the person behind me in the drive-thru at the Crack House (Del Taco) and to please let her know the time and date of the next time I need a "fix."
Well, whatever I end up doing I just hope the recipient pays it forward and my RAK becomes the gift that keeps on giving. Like herpes.
I KID!
