Thursday, December 23, 2010

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a LONG time since I've posted anything (not that anyone reads my blog much but who's bitter about that?) but I've been busy.  Doing stuff.  And getting all exciteapated for Christmas (Or not).  So much so that yesterday, which was December 22, I actually ventured forth into the flood waters to buy a tree since nobody else in this family wanted to get off their sorry butts and get one although they were all, "Waaaa, It's not Christmas without a tree, waaaa!"

Knowing that we have a dog who is a bit of a chewer, I was a bit apprehensive about getting a full-size tree because I was worried that Gracie Lou would have a field day with the ornaments and branches on the bottom so MY solution was to buy a small 3' tree that would go on a table and out of harms reach:
So I brung it home, had TheManTheMyth bring it into the house and put up on the table and I decorated it just so and I think it looks pretty cute but Thing 1 was all, "It's so Ghetto" and I'm all, "how's the tree YOU bought, brought home and decorated, huh?  Huh?  That's what I thought so shaddup!" because I am FULL of the Christmas spirit.

Early into our marriage, TheManTheMyth and I suffered a devastating fire right before Christmas and we were in no mood for celebrating and decided to skip on a tree.  But plans changed and we were tapped to host Christmas dinner so on Christmas morning, TheManTheMyth went out to scrounge up a tree and managed to find the only one left behind at the local tree lot.  We slapped some ornaments on it but it still lacked a tree topper.  The empty Coors Light can was my idea and gave the tree a little je ne ce quois and was pretty apropos for our family.

So, my oldest seester and her family arrive tonight to spend the Christmas holidays here in wet and soggy Southern California.  In our family, Christmas Eve is the Big Night because that was my dad's birthday.  We won't be eating turkey or ham or a roast, no sirree.  OUR traditional Christmas Eve main course is breaded pork chops because that was my dad's favorite and that was what Gramma cooked for him.  Sister Bippy uses Gramma's big-ass cast-iron frying pan and wears Gramma's apron while she makes the pork chops.  As my niece Sarah says in her Minnie Mouse voice, "It's a Family Tradition" and woe to anyone who suggests something different for a change. 

One year, Gramma thought maybe we would like something more "traditional" and roasted a turkey instead (and didn't warn us).  THAT went over like like a lead balloon as we all kind of sat there stunned, going all, "What. The. Heck?" and she never made that mistake again.

I'm about 98% done with my Christmas shopping and 0% done with my wrapping so I'd best get my butt in gear.

I know you all are anxiously awaiting my 2nd Annual Brag-n-Gag Family Newsletter but I must wait until next week so that I have more tidbits to include.  It'll be a good one, believe you me.

Perkins Family Christmas Portrait circa somewhere between 1969 and 1971
 Merry Christmas and Dog Bless Us, Everyone!