Wednesday, September 16, 2009

5 Things

Ok, another blog asked readers "What 5 things will you NEVER do again?" And I had to laugh because just about anything and everything I did in my late teens and early twenties qualifies for this. And it's a helluva lot more than just 5 things. I won't go into what I did in my Wild Misspent Youth but let's just say some of what I did could have been entries here.

But ok, I'll play along.

1. I won't ever enter a wet t-shirt contest again. Hey, I was young, I was wild, I was free and I had the magic power of the music in me. Don't you judge me.

2. I won't ever agree to go on trip with friends where I have to a) sleep on the floor or b) sleep 3 to a bed because the organizer of the weekend getaway conveniently "forgets" to mention that there will be 7 other people staying in one hotel room. And someone always hooks up with a guy in the bar and brings him back to the room and they claim the one bed although the guy is more than willing to have any of the other ladies "share" the bed with them because he's a giver like that.

3. I won't ever take LSD and/or go see "Laserium" again. Oh man, that was one hee-larious night. Incredible laser show. Everything was just so COLORFUL and the way the colored lights danced around and around. And that was before the show had even started. Reality was for people who couldn't handle drugs.

And speaking of Recreational Chemicals, one time my best friend Sandra, who came to a bad end a couple of years after we went separate ways, and I took some acid and spent the rest of the night sitting on the roof of a building on Main Street in Huntington Beach with some gentleman friends and laughed and laughed and laughed until the sun came up. Honestly? It was one of the funnest, funniest nights of my life. This is us on the roof that night. Notice my rockin' Def Leppard shirt and double-wrap studded belt. Yeah, I was bad-ass.

4. I won't ever see the Grateful Dead perform live again. First time I saw The Dead (I saw them a total of 11 times including a New Year's Eve show), I went with the guy I was in love with. He didn't want to take me as he didn't return my feelings at that time. I insisted. So he grudgingly allowed me to tag along and then promptly ditched me as soon as we got there. Wuddaguy. I still had a great time thanks to people who were happy to share their food, drink and "other stuff" with me since my "date" had the ice chest. Seriously? You met the nicest people at a Grateful Dead show.

Ok, check me out that day. I'm a total "Fashion Don't" with my tye-dyed t-shirt worn (clashing) with striped Dolphin shorts. Cheezus Christ on a Cracker what was I thinking with that ensemble? And see how happy my date is to have me along? I had to literally force him to smile for the camera. So maybe I was a bit pushy. But it paid off. We ended up being together for a couple of years before I ditched him for being an immature, irresponsible ass even though the tables had turned and he was madly in love with me and devastated when we broke up. Karma, dude. You shouldn't have ditched me that day.

5. Number 5. Five. What is the Fifth Thing I Will Never Do Again? Hmmmm. I gotta think. Well, I will never have another baby again because I got spayed after Thing 2 was born. Two was my limit. And I have two beautiful children that I'm very, very proud of so there ya go.

There's my Five.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Her name was Joyce

Everyone in our neighborhood knew who she was. She had moved in down the street a couple of years ago, into the Alu's old house. Just her and her funny-looking dog that looks like a brindle hyena or dingo. Every morning I'd see her riding her bicycle. Then, she'd ride her bicycle while Pegasus the dog ran alongside. Then she'd walk Pegasus over to the park. Later in the day, I'd see her riding her bicycle some more. All day long, she would be riding her bicycle or walking Pegasus. I often wondered if there were times poor Pegasus was thinking, "Man, I just want to SLEEP!"

She painted the house a vivid blue. It was so bright it glowed. But she liked it. Her car would be parked in the driveway with the "PLEZLUV" license plate. Sometimes I'd see her driving off, the top down on her convertible and her blond hair covered in a leopard scarf, looking very pretty and glamorous with her bright red lipstick.

She rarely stopped to talk as she rode by. Sometimes she would stop so that we could pet Pegasus but mostly we would just wave to each other. She was "The Lady in the Blue House."

Yesterday afternoon, I found out a couple of things about the Lady in the Blue House. I found out her name was Joyce.

And I found out that on the evening of Friday, September 11, she went into the garage of her blue house and killed herself.

Her name was Joyce.