Thursday, December 31, 2009

You say you want a Resolution

Who thinks she's SO original and punny with that title? That'd be ME. So, it's January 5, 2010 and I'm just now getting a chance to write my New Year's post. Why so late, you ask? I'll tell you. I spent the New Year's weekend camped out in the middle of BuFu Nowhere and not only is there no internet out there in God's Country (Red Mountain CA at Teagle Wash), there's no cellphone reception either. If you need to make a call, you get on your dirt bike and ride up a hill, stand on the biggest rock at the top of the hill, figure out the direction of the wind and if you're lucky, you'll be able to complete the call.

So we get home Sunday night with an injured and very, very crabby-ass teenage son so I spent yesterday getting him to the doctor (he's fine. The swelling on the knee should go down in a couple of days) and trying to get my house in a semblance of order (and failing), doing laundry, cleaning and I never got a chance to sit down at the computer for more than a minute to answer e-mails.

ANYWAY. In the last few weeks leading up to the end of the first decade of the 2nd millenium, it became clear that some changes HAD to be made, financially, physically and mentally. TheManTheMyth spent the majority of the summer months unemployed and he's had to take a $200 a week pay cut until he gets caught back up. He also no longer receives his annual "gift" from his mom so funds are a bit (to put it mildly) tight. So it's time to stop the unnecessary and frivolous spending.

I've been eating fast food WAY too much and it shows. I'm fatter than I've ever been in my entire life. I actually weighed myself this morning and it was what I expected but was hoping it wouldn't be. So, if I cut out fast food, not only would I lose weight but I would be saving an unbelievable amount of money which is a win/win situation. I know it will be difficult because I was in the habit of eating a Del Taco Bacon & Egg Quesadilla along with hash brown sticks almost every. single. day. It was my crack. But it was costing me about $90 a month just to feed my habit. Luckily for me, Del Taco had to start using Zero transfat oil and things just don't taste the same. The last time I had Crack was December 31, 2009 and I'm not missing it. Much.

My other big expenditure is magazines. I love me some magazines. People, US Weekly, InStyle, Vanity Fair, Real Simple, the Soap magazines and British Tatler are the magazines I buy every week/month. Sometimes I get the People and US from my sister but I buy all the others. I figured out I was spending well over $800 a year just on magazines alone. That's a LOT of money. I can either read the online versions or I can go to my local bookstore and read the magazines while sitting in the comfy chairs Borders and Barnes & Noble provide. And my sister has been real good at passing down her magazines to me. Kind of a recycle, reuse, reduce type of thing.

I also need to get off my ever-expanding ass and get back to walking. Now that the kids are back in school after winter break, I can drop off Thing 2 at school and continue on to the park for my morning power walk, which I did this morning. Yay me! I got those Sketcher Shape-up shoes for Christmas and dammit, I WILL get use out of them. By the time I was done with my 2 mile walk (Yay me!), my legs were a bit woogly. And after my walk, instead of heading to the Crack House, I came home and made a bowl of Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Steel Cut oatmeal with a sliced banana for some sweetness. So see? I'm trying.

So in a nutshell, my Resolution for 2010 (and beyond) is to streamline. I need to, no wait. I MUST streamline my unnecessary spending. I must streamline my body and I would like to streamline "stuff" and declutter. Everything is connected and if I can be successful at one, the others should naturally follow.

Otherwise? I'm fucked. That's it, that's the list.

So here's to a Streamlined Me for 2010!

The Last Day of the First Decade of the Second Millenium

(Subtitled, the Brag & Gag. Please read it with the humor and sarcasm I used in writing it)

Whew! Can you believe it's the final day of the first decade of the 2000's? Yeah, me neither and what a year it's been for our little family!

As usual, the majority of our time has been taken up with racing. For the 2nd year, TheManTheMyth and I were elected to be the stewards for District 37 Competition Committee for the Lightweight II, Magnum, Masters, Legends and Quad classes. It's a huge responsibility and a lot of work but I've proven that I can handle it and I'm often complimented on my hard work.

Both TheManTheMyth and Thing 1 have been at the top of their respective classes all year, TheManTheMyth in the Magnum (Age 50+ ) Heavyweight class and Thing 1 in the Lightweight II (200cc) class. Thing 1 had a sure shot to the Number One plate this year until some old guy (He's 28!) decided to throw a monkey wrench into his plans and give him a run for the money. Obviously *SOMEONE* didn't realize that the Lightweight II class is for TEENAGERS dude.

Everything was going swell until TheManTheMyth broke his leg in a high speed crash. Ok, he was actually in 1st gear and he tipped over after colliding with another bike on a hill and the bike fell and pinned his leg but doesn't "high speed crash" sound more glamourous? This put TheManTheMyth out of commission for 6 to 8 weeks and cost him valuable points. He was able to make his return to racing in time for Round 2 of the Night Race Series, which he easily won:
Thing 1 would have won his class at that race but his teammate has a bad habit of crashing. We won't be teaming up with him again.
This summer was a very slow summer for the construction industry and TheManTheMyth knew he needed to do something to keep busy and to keep me from chopping his body into tiny pieces with a butter knife so he came up with a light frame for race lights for motorcycles and DeJongh Racing and Race Lights was born!
The business became official November 1 and while we have yet to sell a single, solitary light, we are optimistic and it was well worth it to have TheManTheMyth happy in his garage workshop instead of starting the demolition of our kitchen which is what he originally planned on doing even though we had no money to remodel the kitchen but he does love him some demo work.

Thing 2 continues to play inline hockey and is now playing in the Patrick Division with boys several years older than herself. This past season was rather dismal as she had a coach who clearly did not know Who She Was and insisted she play defense instead of forward where she really shines. Because of this, she went the entire season without ever scoring a single goal, the first time in her entire hockey career that this has happened. Obviously, we have requested a different coach for the Winter season. One who will recognize her skills and talent.

Thing 2 and I both were lucky and thrilled to meet our favorite NHL players this year. She (Who? Her. Huh.) favors Teemu Selanne and we went to a meet and greet where we battled the crowds in order to have Teemu autograph a photo of himself that she presented. While I wasn't able to get a photo of the two of them, I did manage to snap a candid shot of him:
And I finally got to meet MY favorite hockey player, George Parros, who I love and adore because he's HOT. I was thrilled to have my picture taken with him and since I wasn't escorted out by security (again) I consider this a success!
While the menfolk were out racing, I actually did a bit of traveling this year, visiting the city of New Orleans with my seesters. New Orleans was everything I had hoped and dreamed and it was all that and a bag of chips!
There was also a trip to Colorado where acrophobic me actually went up to the top of a mountain on a ski lift! How brave am I?

This year was also the year that Thing 2 WORE A DRESS! Yes, it's true. She had to wear a dress for her 8th grade commencement and didn't she look adorable!
Our Lucy is still alive and well although there are many people out there who think it's WAY past her time to leave the building but those people are just haters. Does this look like a dog on her deathbed?
I think not, even though she is 11 years old. As long as she goes to the park every day, she's happy.

Thing 1 is now a Senior and Thing 2 is a freshman. I can't believe how fast my little darlings have grown. Of course they both are on the Principal's Honor Roll and Thing 1 even had a 4.0 on his 1st report card! We chose to overlook the fact that 3 of his 5 classes are Surf, Teachers Aide and Computer Art. Thing 2 had a 3.5 GPA including an A+ in Spanglish so we're quite proud of our little scholars! Thing 1 has applied to Cal State Long Beach and we're crossing our fingers he's accepted despite a less than impressive SAT score.

All of the hard work and $$$ we invested in racing finally paid off! Kevin, my son Kevin, aka "Thing 1," was tapped to be a rider for Blais Racing Services with support from KTM North America! This is a huge honor! He'll be competing in the National Hare & Hound Series as well as District 37 races. He's already received thousands of dollars in new gear and parts and it's just the beginning, especially since Kevin finished the 2009 racing season as both the Enduro Champion and the Best of the West Champion in the Lightweight II divisions! Oh, and 2nd place for the desert division so that means 3 big trophies at the annual Awards Banquet! And TheManTheMyth had his best ever year end finish in his 20+ years of racing. He'll be wearing the M3 plate for 2010 for the Magnum Division!

So here's to 2009 and we look forward to bigger and better things for 2010! Which means, someone, anyone, please buy a light kit from DeJongh Racing. Just go to to place your order. Please.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Post-Christmas Post

Ok, so I survived Christmas but I don't know if I'm going to survive post-Christmas. I talked to my best friend on the phone for about 3 hours the day after Christmas and after I hung up, my throat felt all dry and scratchy but I just assumed it was from the marathon talk session. I wish. I've got a wicked head cold that has knocked me on my butt. The daytime "non-drowsy" cold medicine makes me want to do a face plant into a pillow and I feel like my limbs are made of rubber. The cold medicine I take at night so I can sleep without coughing knocks me out and, according to TheManTheMyth, makes me snore like a lumberjack. And I wonder why George isn't calling. Hmmm.

So Christmas was nice, my seester and her family came out from the frozen land of Colorado but unfortunately, I didn't get to spend as much time with them as I would have liked. The day after Christmas, everyone except me, TheManTheMyth and Thing 1 headed out to Sister Number 2's house in Palm Springs where they will stay until January 2. Thing 2 went with her aunts, uncles and cousins so it's been very quiet around here. I would have loved to have gone but this is my busiest time of year, what with getting everything ready for the 2010 racing season which starts January 10 and since it's our club who puts on the first race of the season, it's been pretty hectic getting all the paperwork and permits and insurance and sanctions and ambulances and portapotties and everything else take care of and being sick is not helping.

Anyway, since money is more than tight this year, Christmas was a little on the small side with the kids each getting just one major gift each. Even though TheManTheMyth and I tell each other we don't want anything, I do like to get him a little something to open. So I thought long and hard about what to get him that he wouldn't get for himself but that he would use. Wanna guess what I got him?

That's right, a Snuggie. Let me say, though, that I hate the commercials for the Snuggie with the heat of a thousand suns. They are the STUPIDEST commercials, not to mention annoying as all hell but TheManTheMyth likes to bundle up with blankets when he's on the couch watching "24" Seasons 1 through 6 on DVD. And according to the Snuggie commercial, if you don't have sleeves on your blanket, you will be incapable of, well, FUNCTIONING because it's the sleeves that give you the ability to eat, change the channel with the TV clicker, talk on the phone, read a book and do a stupid dance in your kitchen while looking like a deranged member of some bizarre cult. Remember that folks, it's sleeves that keep the world from descending into chaos.

So TheManTheMyth opens the Snuggie box and takes out this, this, flimsy tissue-thin piece of cloth that happens to have some sleeves attached. I have no idea how this "blanket with sleeves" is supposed to keep you warm, it's THAT thin. And because it's made out of cheap manmade fibers, you are a conduit for electrical shock when you wear it. We've all given the Snuggie a test drive and we all agree that it's a piece of shit and all I can say is thank goodness I didn't spend much on it. Here's TheManTheMyth improperly "wearing" his Snuggie:
He refuses to "wear" it and frankly, I don't blame him. As for me, I got a pair of those Shape Up shoes:
which take getting used to. The first day I wore them I felt like I was walking taller and straighter and my ab muscles, what few there are, felt like I had been sucking in my stomach all day and were a little tender. I've had people tell me they aren't worth the money and other people say they definitely feel a difference so who knows. I needed new walking shoes anyway.

Ok, I gotta go and take some more non-drowsy cold medicine and hope I can stay awake to process more competition licenses.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Not dead. Yet.

Just a quick post to let my handful of followers know that I'm not dead. Yet. I've been swamped with work, processing hundreds of Competition racing licenses for the off-road series TheManTheMyth and Thing 1 race in and I'm coming down with *something* on top of that. It's agony to swallow and my head is getting all clogged up. I'm turning into a real snotty, turdy head. Beauty, eh?

Anyhoo, as soon as I get a chance this week, I will have something with a little more substance to post. I know you're all on pins and needles to hear about Christmas (yes, someone DID receive a Snuggie) and to read my version of the Annual Family Brag & Gag and Year In Review Newsletter. I love those Brag & Gag newsletters. Especially when you receive them from people you don't really know. Those are usually the best because they are SO full of "Aren't we FABULOUS!"

Ok, I gotta go find some cough drops/throat lozenges and a decongestant and get back to work.