Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Babylon and On

I'm still unable to post photos in my blog.  I don't know if it's because of my ancient Mac or if it's because Blogger is being a poo head but until I can figure this out, you just get to rely on my sparkling wit and way with words to amuse and entertain yourselves.
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So, last night I was in bed, just drifting off to sleep when my cellphone rang.  I usually turn off my phone before I go to bed because the e-mail notification tone will wake me up when it goes off at 2:14am but I forgot to turn the phone off last night which was good (maybe) because when the ringing phone jarred me awake, it was Thing 1's voice on the other end instead of some stranger drunk dialing.


"Mom!" he says, "My truck won't start."  Thing 1 had gone out 2 hours earlier to meet up with his girlfriend at the local doughnut shop.  I assumed he was in the parking lot of the doughnut shop but no, they had decided to "go parking" at the duck pond about a mile away, those crazy kids.  And when it was time to leave, the Red Rocket had become the Dead Rocket.  Thank goodness for Auto Club is what I'm saying although I still had to go and retrieve Thing 1 from the park, interrupting my beauty sleep, which is DESPERATELY needed.  Kids.
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Last night, before I had my beauty sleep interrupted, I had been watching my hockey team, the Anaheim Ducks beat the crap out of the Dallas Stars and my boyfriend, George Parros (who is HOT) scored his first goal of the season!  George doesn't score goals very often because his job is to be The Enforcer so his goal was cause for celebration.  I love me some George.
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You know, I just love a good celebrity Train Wreck and Charlie Sheen is a-whistling down the tracks at runaway speeds.  What a ding dang mess he is.  He's the male version of Lindsay Lohan but unlike Lindsay, he's got boatloads of money to a) afford his messes and 2) pay for his "treatments."  I love how his publicist is claiming he had an "allergic reaction to medication" while the hooker who was with him is saying, "Blow and lots of it."  Charlie Sheen had Hookers and Blow?  I'm shocked, SHOCKED I say.  Oh.  Wait.  And can I use any more "quotation marks?"
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One week from today.  I am counting down the days until this election is over because I am so effing sick and tired of being bombarded non-stop by campaign ads on TV.  Yes, I'm talking to YOU, Meg "$140 MILLION DOLLARS" Whitman.  I don't want to vote for either of the candidates for both governor AND senator.  "None of the above" is the box I want to check.  Although it could be worse, we could have candidates that can't tell the difference between Hispanics and and Asians and wants to outlaw masturbation.  I'm starting to associate the Tea Party movement with cuckoo clocks.
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I've noticed something about the women homeowners who appear on all those HGTV real estate shows:  they all wear really, really ugly, clunky sandals.  That are not just ugly, they're Fugly.  What, have they not ever seen or heard of cute strappy sandals?  I'm no Fashionista or even a TJ Maxxinista but if you're going to be on TV, wear some stylish footwear, fercryinoutloud!
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The latest electronic issue?  My Verizon Webmail is not receiving e-mails.  Or if e-mails are delivered, they disappear after about an hour.  Luckily, I'm getting my e-mails through my Mac mail but there's a couple of e-mails that have to obtained and opened on my PC laptop and it's kind of hard to do that when they don't show up in my inbox.  Or spam folder.  Or anywhere I can open them.  Sigh.
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You know what commercial just makes me laugh every time I see it?  The Geico commercial where we find out just how much wood a woodchuck can chuck, "Hey, you dang woodchucks, quit chuckin' mah wood!"


So there ya go, Wednesday's Babbles.  Where I Babble On and On.  It's what I do.



Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Bitchslaps for Jesus


Maybe I'm going to hell in a bucket but this was one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time.