1. Why are bargain-brand, no-name loaves of bread already stale the moment you buy them, even if they've just been delivered? For the record, *I* don't purchase these loaves of bread (see first sentence) but TheManTheMyth does when he and Thing 1 head out to the races and of course they eat a grand total of 4 slices (2 sandwiches total) which means they bring back an almost full loaf of stale bread. I feel guilty if I toss it because it's such a waste and I feel guilty if I take it to the park to feed the squirrels, ducks and geese because there's all these signs BEGGING you not to feed the wildlife even though the squirrels, ducks and geese at my local park haven't had to forage for food in decades. They get 3 hots and a cot from the local senior citizens who deliver meals twice a day and no, I'm not kidding. So if I were to take my stale loaf of bread to the park, it would probably be laughed at by the squirrels and fowl who are used to much better vittles than the stale loaf of bargain bread I'd be flinging at them. Yeah, it's a tough life for critters at El Dorado Regional Park.
2. In this day and age, just about every car manufacturer offers various models of hybrids. You can get hybrid SUV's, hybrid luxury sedans, hybrid compact cars. Yet out of all the hybrids out there, only one model seems to cause its driver to drive in a manner all but guaranteed to annoy, irritate and pretty much piss off everyone else who encounters one on the road.
I'm talking about the Prius. Or, as my friend Sandy pronounces it, the "PrEYEus." Because Sandy is a card. A Joker.
I'll be driving along and all of a sudden, traffic slows waaaay down and cars start swerving into the next lane and then back with hand gestures a-flailing and lo and behold, the reason becomes clear: Someone in a Prius is driving along, under the speed limit, usually in the fast lane or carpool lane and completely unconcerned that they're causing a bottleneck. They don't care, they don't have to. They drive a Prius.
You don't see the drivers of Altima Hybrids or Ford Fusion hybrids or even Camry hybrids driving like geriatrics with cataracts. No, they drive like NORMAL people even though they're driving hybrids. So what's the deal, Prius drivers? Huh? Huh?
3. My internet connection has decided to play hard-to-get over the last couple of days. One minute I'll be happily web surfing away and the next, there's no connection and my networks isn't even listed on the little icon thingamajig up at the top of my screen.
4. "I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really, want! So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want! I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want! So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!"
Yes, folks, I've got "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls stuck in my head. Special thanks go out to Thing 2 for planting that seed. She'll pay for that.
Yes, I downloaded it to my iTunes.
Yes, I'm ashamed that I did.
5. I don't know what it is about hardware stores but I seriously can spend HOURS in them. Not so much the Home Depots and Lowe's but the Harbor Freight, Ace and True Value stores. There are so many gadgets and jing-tinglers and all sorts of fun things to see. I had to go to my local hardware store this morning to buy 6 dozen screws (I ended up just buying a box of 100. It was cheaper that way) and if TheManTheMyth hadn't needed them RIGHT NOW, I'd probably still be there browsing to my heart's content.
I was at Harbor Freight the other day and I swear I was the youngest person in there. Octogenarian men as far as the eye could see. Well, MY eye. I don't think the oldsters could see all that good. They kept asking me to read stuff to them. "Young lady, can you tell me what it says on this drill box?" "Um, that's a stapler." "What? What's that you say? A stapler? I don't need a dad-gum stapler! Where are the drills?"
Gotta love 'em.
And then I watched as they got into their Delta 88s, Buick Park Avenues or Chrysler New Yorkers and drove off, sideswiping a slow-moving Prius.
Of course.
Gotta love 'em.
