Bad news, Good News

So this morning, I get in my car and head to the Crack House (don't judge; I've lost 12lbs since November 1st.  I can afford to treat myself now and then).  Although I have XM Radio, which I LOVE and can't/don't want to live without, I do listen to my iPod in my car.

So I'm driving and I go to switch from XM to my iPod and it doesn't switch over.  I keep hitting the switch on the steering wheel and it just goes from XM to AM to FM to AUX but not to "Kelly's iPod."


"Hmmmm," I think to myself.  So I open the console between the seats to see if maybe my iPod, which is a Red Nano with my name engraved on the back, had come unplugged.

And yes, you could say that it had, indeed, become unplugged.  In fact, it was gone.

Along with my Shell gas card.


Fuck.

And then I think that maybe Thing 1 borrowed my gas card so he could put gas in Big Red and took my iPod because he needed the cord for HIS iPod.

So I ask him and nope, he doesn't have it.

I ask everyone in the family if they have my gas card and my iPod and the answer is No.

Which means that someone stole my iPod and my gas card.

But left a couple of dollars and a boatload of change.  Go figure.

And no, my car was not locked.  I know, I know.  Here's your sign.


But at least my wallet wasn't in my car.  Not that there was any money in it but still.


I've already called Shell and reported my card stolen and it will take a week for a new one to get here.  Luckily, I had just filled my tank the day before so I'm good there.


However, there IS a bright side to all this:


I GET TO GO AND GET A NEW iPHONE 4S!!!


I KNOW!!


Thing 1 is going to pitch a fit but he can go out and do something to EARN his own iPhone.  And pay the monthly bill.


Yeah, shut HIM up.


And before anyone says, "But Kelly, what do YOU do to earn an iPhone?" let me just say that at this time of year, every year, I EARN MY KEEP and TheManTheMyth acknowledges it.


And by "earning my keep" I mean I take care of all the paperwork, of which there is buttloads, for our motorcycle race.  Including doing the results, which I finished in less than two days (which is a record) because I'm THAT GOOD.


As soon as TMTM gave me the go-ahead for the new phone, I skedaddled to my local Apple store.


Only to discover they were sold out of the 16GB phone.


Yeah.


So, I'll continue to use my piece of poo Droid for a little while longer and I dug out my ancient iPod Shuffle, the one that looks like a pack of Wrigley's Spearmint gum, loaded it up with a couple of songs and I'm good.


For now.

The Car? Or Debbie?

I am on the horns of a dilemma here, people.  

A decision needs to be made.  

A choice must be made.

I must use my Freedom of Choice but not about a dog in Ancient Rome who had 2 bones and picked up one and licked the other and now I'm off on a Devo song tangent.

But that's how my mind works.

So, back to my dilemma, my choice, my decision that needs to be made.

Let me start by talking about my cellphone.


I know, excitement city.


Since I've had my current cellphone, the Motorola Droid, it has been a great phone.  Unless I want to send or receive e-mails.  Then it sucks big, fat donkey dicks.


And since I receive, on the average, 50+ e-mails a day, this is A Problem.


For reasons unknown to me, my phone likes to withhold my e-mails until IT decides when and if I should receive them.  And how often I should receive them.  There's been many a time that e-mails will arrive a good 48 hours AFTER they've been sent.


Another issue is that my Droid will re-send the same e-mails as many as 5 times.  And when you get 50+ e-mails being resent 5 times, it's A Problem.


And another issue is that e-mails won't load so I can't open them.


And yet ANOTHER ISSUE is that I am unable to send e-mails using my primary account.  Every time I attempt it, I'm asked for my password and then told my password is incorrect and sucks to be you, doesn't it?


My phone.  Disrespecting me since 2010.


So OBVIOUSLY I need a new phone.  One that doesn't give me attitude and does what I pay for it to do.


And since I am a diehard fan of the Fruit Company, the phone I want is the Apple iPhone.  


And if I'm going to get an iPhone, it makes sense to get the 4S and not the 4.


Now, I'm going to move from talking about my stupid phone to talking about my undergarments.


My bras, to be exact.


I don't wear cheap bras.  I can't.  My bras work hard for the money keeping my massive mammaries supported and a cheap bra just doesn't offer the love and support my F-Troops require.


So spending nearly $100 on a single bra is something that Has to Be Done.


And this week, one of my expensive yet hardworking bras finally threw in the towel, rolled over and died.  The underwire snapped in two and poked right through the material, practically impaling me in the rib cage.


As I've said, those poor bras work hard for the money.


So this means I need to buy new bras, which is actually something I HATE to do because it takes hours to find one that fits right and feels right and even if it's the same bra I've worn, you have to try on every.single.bra because they all fit differently.

Plus, you spend A LOT of money for something that isn't something you can play Words With Friends on and that makes me cross.

Which leads me to My Dilemma.


Funds are more than a little tight this time of year, what with paying for Christmas and an offroad motorcycle race and a kid who just had surgery on his knee and all those pesky doctors and hospitals and physical therapists and MRI people want to be paid.


Which means that I have to decide:  Do I get my new iPhone or do I buy some new Over the Shoulder Boulder Holders? 

Both will see A LOT of use, both are very much needed.


The iPhone?


The bras?


What do I do?  Which do I choose?


And if you're wondering what the title has to do with anything, watch "Bachelor Party" with Tom Hanks.