The Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of

Oh, did I have an awful nightmare last night, the plot of which I will share with you right now:

For some reason, I was on a bus headed to the airport to go on a trip to Hawaii.  My friend "Noodle" happened to be on the bus next to me and I was all happy to see my childhood buddy and excited to be going to Hawaii.

We get to the airport and it suddenly occurred to me that  A) I did not have a plane ticket with me  2) I had forgotten my wallet with my ID and iii) I had forgotten my cellphone as well.  And also too, I didn't know WHICH airline I was supposed to fly to Hawaii on or where I was supposed to stay once I got to Hawaii on Unknown Airways.

So I'm wringing my hands and crying and panicking over what I'm going to do since I have none of the items I need to get to Hawaii, including a suitcase with clothes for my trip to Hawaii.  And Noodle decides that I'm going to be arrested as a terrorist because I'm at an airport without any valid reason and am making a scene so he bails on me (THANKS A LOT, PAL), leaving me to get out of this mess on my own.

Somehow, I find a cellphone so I can call someone and of course I can't remember anyone's phone number.  Of course.  Doesn't this always happen in a nightmare?  You try to call someone and either you can't remember the number or you keep getting a busy signal or your finger slips off the button and you have to start all over again and you CAN'T COMPLETE THE CALL!!!

But this nightmare gets worse.  Oh yes, it does.  What happens next caused me to force myself to wake up from this awful nightmare, which I did, gasping with fear and a pounding heart.

In my nightmare, I told someone that I was hoping my son's girlfriend would get pregnant because, get this, I WANTED TO BE A GRANDMA.

Even my nightmare addled brain was saying, "What the hell?" because anyone who knows me knows I'm not much of a baby person.  The only reason I tolerated my own babies was because a) they were the most beautiful babies ever to exist and 2) they were mine and I was kind of obligated to be their mom.  But I've never had "baby fever" and I definitely don't have "Gramma fever" as I've made it abundantly clear to Thing 1 and his girlfriend of this fact.

I'm sure a Dream Analyst can analyze this NIGHTMARE and would say that subconsciously, I'm sad about my children growing up, leaving the nest (like THAT will ever happen) and not needing me anymore (yeah, right) and that I need a baby to nurture and love (Um, no).

Some friends came over last week and they had their 3 month old with them and yes, I held little Riley and cooed and did the rocking-side-by-side motion that comes automatically when you hold a baby and I was perfectly happy to pass him back to his Mama after 5 minutes and realized that nope, I don't miss having one around. 

I think I need to go back to bed and start over again.  Maybe this time I'll dream about something lovely, like a shirtless Jason Statham.  Because he is the stuff dreams are made of.