Clowns to the left of me

So yesterday I decided to make my annual trek to the Antique Swap Meet held at Long Beach's Veteran's Stadium on the 3rd Sunday of each month.  I used to go about 4 times a year, quarterly I guess you'd call it but nowadays once, maybe twice a year is sufficient.  One of these days I will make it to the Grandaddy (Grand Daddy?) of Antique swap meets at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.  But yesterday wasn't the day.

Whenever I attend this thing, no matter what month or season it is, it's always hot.  It could be raining in other parts of the city but at Vets Stadium, it's always sunny and hot.  Dunno why.  So I dressed accordingly in capris, a white t-shirt, a visor to keep the sun out of my eyes and I wore my well-cushioned Sketchers Shape Up shoes so that I could kill two birds with one stone:  a lovely day of shopping AND get some fitness walking in.  

I never have anything in particular in mind to buy when I go, mostly I go for the people watching and to see what kind of crap people are hawking as "collectibles."  And I'm never disappointed.  This time, there seemed to be 2 "themes" that were well represented, clowns and religious stuff.  Is anyone seeing the irony and/or joke here?  I know I am.

Now let me say right now that I don't like clowns.  They scare the bejeezus out of me.  I do not find them cute or humorous or amusing in any way, shape or form.  Maybe it's because when I was a kid, there was a bit of hysteria in our neighborhood because of rumors of a child molester who dressed up as a clown to entice children or maybe it's just the makeup.  Bozo the Clown and Ronald McDonald are both uber-creepy and lets not talk about the clown in Stephen King's "It."


Anyhoo, it seemed I couldn't go down a row without seeing these portraits:

Doesn't it look like someone took a Magic Marker and drew in the eyebrows?  A couple of rows later I saw this:

Ewww!  I didn't get close enough to see if they were by the same "artist" because I just didn't want to get any closer than I already did to take the photos because, well, ewww (shudders).


So I'm traipsing along, just glancing at the displays on either side of the aisles when THIS catches my eye:

I think it's supposed to be a "lamp" but I think it's actually some sort of freakish sex toy disguised as a lamp but I could be wrong although I really don't think so.  Feel free to add your opinions.


I continue on my merry way and I see many sellers of religious artifacts.  I couldn't always take a photo because the vendors would kind of give me the stink-eye when I held up my BlackBerry in an obvious manner.  I saw vendors selling hundreds of rosaries which made me wonder of some of my Gramma's rosary collection was mixed in there.  When my Gramma died and we were going through her things, I found dozens and dozens of rosaries, which were snatched up at the estate sale.  I had no idea they were such a hot commodity!  I saw this on a table.  If I remember my saints, and I really don't to be honest, I think this is the Infant Child/Jesus of Prague:

Very fluffy and ruffly with a cool crown.  I love crowns so that's what initially caught me eye.  


Several aisles later I see a whole bunch of statues and icons and and because they were quite colorful, I had to take a look.

You have to click on the picture to really see just how BAD these are.  They looked like they were made in an "Occupational Therapy" class by someone who was still detoxing.  Or by the person who painted those clown portraits.


I continue my walk and on a table I see the largest pair of shoes I've ever seen:

You can't even tell just how big these shoes were/are.  I should have put one next to my foot just for comparison.  I wear a Ladies size 8 and these were easily twice as big.  Thing 1 has a crony who wears a size 13 and these were WAY bigger and I thought to myself, "Damn."


By now I was getting pretty tired but I was bound and determined I would go up and down EVERY aisle because you just never know what's there.  At one point I spotted a 1968 wall map of Disneyland with a price tag of $75 and I felt more than a bit smug because a couple of years ago while at the swap meet, I found the same map tucked into a pile of old technical manuals and I snatched it up for $18.  One of these days I will have it framed and hung on the wall above my desk because it's pretty cool.


I saw a really cool Art Deco radio that members of my family who read my blog will recognize as the one that until recently had been the property of my sister and brother-in-law:

It had matched their Art Deco Storytone piano, which wasn't at the swap meet:

Heading out to the exit I saw one last thing:

This chair was easily 5 feet across and the reason it looks so shiny is that not only was it upholstered in a silver crushed velvet brocade type of fabric but also had a custom (obviously) clear plastic slipcover to protect the upholstery.  It would definitely make a statement in your living room but I'm not sure what kind of statement you want to make with that chair.


I did make 2 purchases, a skirt:

that I put on as soon as I got home and a book to add to my Laura Ingalls Wilder/Little House collection:

I had no idea this book even existed!  I though I had all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and biographies out there so this was quite a find.  And it was only $5!


Thus ended my annual jaunt to the Antiques Swap Meet.