Ok, so back in March, my bank approached ME with an opportunity to refinance my existing 15 year mortgage at a much lower rate. This was to be an "easy" 3 step no cost refinancing that did not involve tax returns, appraisals, points, etc. It would drop our monthly mortgage payment by about $300.00. American dollars.
Great, said I. Let's do this "easy" refinancing. Easy peasy, right?
WRONG!!!!!
This had turned into a nightmare of epic proportions although not as epic a nightmare as BP's fucked-up handling of the Gulf oil spill but still it's been pretty bad.
I'm not going to go into the exact details but it involves the title to my property, my living trust, an escrow company that took my paperwork and disappeared, a mortgage consultant who would assure me that everything was on track going smoothly and then would become MIA for several weeks, not answering e-mails or phone calls and then would reappear with an entirely different offer than had been agreed upon, then being denied because that offer was now only for "special" customers, then being re-approved because I raised holy hell and this morning I find out that my easy peasy refinancing would be for the same interest rate I am paying now which means Stagecoach Bank's (not the real name but that's the logo...you figure it out) offer is completely worthless and I have wasted MONTHS trying to get this taken care of and coupled with some major screw ups with my business accounts and my kids accounts on the part of the bank, I'm ready to blow this popsicle stand of a banking institution.
So this morning, I wake up and look in the mirror and see that either I'm suffering from a rather severe case of adult acne on my cheek and upper brow areas or something has been snacking on me in the middle of the night. Add some swell PMS symptoms including breasticles that haven't ached this bad since I was nursing a hungry baby 18 years ago. Seriously, every time I hear a baby cry, I look down expecting to see two wet spots spreading on my shirt, that's how sore and achy the F Troops are. Oh, I'm a real prize these days, let me tell you. How TheManTheMyth is able to keep his hands off me is a wonder, I'm that much of a beauty.
Last week, we actually had several days of heat, here in my neck of the coastal woods. And we had humidity added to it. It was bad enough that I caved in and turned on the A/C. Air conditioning is a wonderful thing, I say to you. Even though we probably only turn it on maybe a total of 2 weeks a year but it's nice having it when we need it.
The weather turned back to June Gloom conditions and who is not complaining one iota? That'd be me. Right now at 12:15PM, PST, we are socked in with a heavy marine layer and I'm just fine with that. It was even drizzling pretty good when I took Miss Gracie Lou for her morning walk. Seriously, you just can't beat the climate of Coastal Southern California.
The racing season is on its summer break which means TheManTheMyth will be home on weekends which means he'll be bored which means he'll want to build something, demolish something or a combination of both which means I'll need to insist he make his annual pilgrimage to Mecca (riding at Kennedy Meadows in the Sierras) despite his insisting there's no money for it. I'd sell a body part if it meant him going to his Happy Place. He NEEDS this which means *I* need this for both our sanities. Especially after our banking/refinancing nightmare which is making my blood pressure rise just thinking about it all over again.
But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Where America Shops
I like catalogs. No, let me clarify, I LOVE catalogs. I've always loved catalogs. I don't always order things out of catalogs, mostly because I'd go broke if I did and end up having enough stuff to hold a garage sale, but I love me some catalogs.
I used to get tons of catalogs in my mailbox all the time. Harriet Carter, Lillian Vernon, Wireless, Newport News, Signals, etc. and there was always something I simply HAD to have. And there was always things I had to ask myself, "Who in their right mind would EVER want something like this?"
One of the best catalogs I ever got was called, "Ruby Montana's Pinto Pony" and it was full of Swell Stuff. Really. It said so on the cover, "Swell Stuff." I loved RMPP and one time, when I was up in Seattle, I had to stop in at her store and I actually met Ruby herself. I told her I came all the way from California just to visit her store and she was all, "That's great, you whackjob, get a life!" Ok, she didn't really say that but I know that's what she was thinking. I was sad when Ruby closed up shop.
I received a catalog in the mail the other day called, "As We Change" and it's aimed at women who are, oh, let's call us "Pre-and-Post Menopausal." And along with the clothing and undergarments and spa-type of things, there's some, how shall I put this, interesting items offered in this here catalog. Oh sure, they have fancy names for these items, like "Feminine Personal Trainer" and the "Kegelcisor" but we all know what they REALLY are. There's even some pyramid looking thing called "The Cone" that on one hand I'm dying to know how this thing works but on the other hand I'm not sure that I do because it looks pretty dang uncomfortable. And weird. And it's supposed to be for both men AND women and I'm all, "Uh, ok?"
I also got the Vermont Country Store catalog and talk about nostalgia. I saw a dozen things in there that I don't need but am simply itching to have and not one of them is a Kindle. I know, that's just crazy!
Speaking of books (books, Kindle = same thing), years ago (early 80's) I received a catalog from a bookseller I had never heard of. There were so many great books in that catalog that I never saw at my local bookstore. I thought I had died and gone to Book Heaven. And based on the number of books I ordered and the amount of money I spent, I'm pretty sure I'm responsible for Barnes & Noble's success today.
One of the things about ordering from a catalog is that you get put on mailing lists for other catalogs and sometimes, you get a catalog that comes in a plain brown paper wrapper and you have to hide it from the kids and when you do look at it you're all, "No WAY!" and wonder if people actually DO that kind of stuff and then you go to throw it away but then you worry that the trashman is going to see it and tell all the other trash guys that the people who live at my address have some pretty weird and kinky tastes even though you know that the trash men don't even get out of the truck to empty the trash cans anymore because it's done with a robotic arm so that the trash guy never even SEES what he's dumping but what if he did? A spiced up sex life is just not worth the stress is what I'm saying.
And who can forget the ne plus ultra of catalogs, the Catalog to end all Catalogs, the Catalog that every. single. kid in the USofA waited anxiously for every year. That's right, the Sears Christmas Wish Book. The Wish Book was the greatest catalog ever made. Ever. Forget Needless Markup Neiman Marcus with their luxury items and His-and-Her examples of Conspicuous Capitalist Consumption. The Sears Wish Book had toys. Hundreds of pages of toys. And craft stuff and sporting goods and really tacky home decor items and musical instruments and dress up costumes like a Miss America costume with a tiara and sash and cape and silver-and-gold "toned" jewelry and oh! All sorts of Christmas decorations so that you could make your house look like the North Pole vomited up on it, what with plastic Santa sleighs with reindeer and boy and girl choir singers and giant candles and that thing you put on your front door to make it look like Santa Claus himself has just opened the door to welcome you in, although that door thing always kind of scared me for some reason.
Ah, Sears. It's where America Shopped.
I used to get tons of catalogs in my mailbox all the time. Harriet Carter, Lillian Vernon, Wireless, Newport News, Signals, etc. and there was always something I simply HAD to have. And there was always things I had to ask myself, "Who in their right mind would EVER want something like this?"
One of the best catalogs I ever got was called, "Ruby Montana's Pinto Pony" and it was full of Swell Stuff. Really. It said so on the cover, "Swell Stuff." I loved RMPP and one time, when I was up in Seattle, I had to stop in at her store and I actually met Ruby herself. I told her I came all the way from California just to visit her store and she was all, "That's great, you whackjob, get a life!" Ok, she didn't really say that but I know that's what she was thinking. I was sad when Ruby closed up shop.
I received a catalog in the mail the other day called, "As We Change" and it's aimed at women who are, oh, let's call us "Pre-and-Post Menopausal." And along with the clothing and undergarments and spa-type of things, there's some, how shall I put this, interesting items offered in this here catalog. Oh sure, they have fancy names for these items, like "Feminine Personal Trainer" and the "Kegelcisor" but we all know what they REALLY are. There's even some pyramid looking thing called "The Cone" that on one hand I'm dying to know how this thing works but on the other hand I'm not sure that I do because it looks pretty dang uncomfortable. And weird. And it's supposed to be for both men AND women and I'm all, "Uh, ok?"
I also got the Vermont Country Store catalog and talk about nostalgia. I saw a dozen things in there that I don't need but am simply itching to have and not one of them is a Kindle. I know, that's just crazy!
Speaking of books (books, Kindle = same thing), years ago (early 80's) I received a catalog from a bookseller I had never heard of. There were so many great books in that catalog that I never saw at my local bookstore. I thought I had died and gone to Book Heaven. And based on the number of books I ordered and the amount of money I spent, I'm pretty sure I'm responsible for Barnes & Noble's success today.
One of the things about ordering from a catalog is that you get put on mailing lists for other catalogs and sometimes, you get a catalog that comes in a plain brown paper wrapper and you have to hide it from the kids and when you do look at it you're all, "No WAY!" and wonder if people actually DO that kind of stuff and then you go to throw it away but then you worry that the trashman is going to see it and tell all the other trash guys that the people who live at my address
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Gray Gardens of Hair
I don't know how many times in the last week that I've typed up a blog post only to look at the finished but unpublished product and have thought to myself, "This is crap." I don't know what is wrong with me but I seem to have lost my mojo for having something, anything funny or witty or interesting or intelligent to say.
I've had a topic in mind but didn't put it into writing and then I'll go read someone else's blog and see that they wrote about the very topic I was going to write about and I'm all, "Great, I can't write about that, people will think I'm a copy cat" and I have to come up with something else and the same thing happens all over again and it's a tough job blogging, even if nobody reads it.
Anyway, right now I'm sitting here with Garnier Nutrisse hair dye on my head, "Sangria" is the shade, and I can't remember how long it's been on my hair but I figure with the amount of gray hairs on my head, the longer the better although sometimes if I leave the hair color on my head too long I end up with magenta hair which would be ok if I were a 23 year old Goth chick instead of an over-the-hill NOT Goth mother to two teenagers, one of whom is going off to college in a month but is being a total slug in the meantime. One time, my then-teenage nephew was looking at my hair with a funny look on his face and finally he blurted out, "Dang Aunt Kelly, your hair is purple!" and everyone laughed and I was all haha but at least the gray was covered up and that's what's important here because I got lots of gray. Probably more than both my sisters combined and I'm the youngest. It's so not fair.
Every so often I wonder what I'd look like if I were to stop coloring my hair and embrace my "natural" look and then I snap out of it. It would be one thing if my gray was a lovely silvery-white like Heloise from Hints From Heloise but because it's Me, it's more of a dingy yellowish gray that would make me look like I should be wearing hemp clothing and Birkenstocks with white athletic socks be surrounded by cats and my own sculptures created from Budweiser cans and empty mascara tubes and well, that's just not who I Am.
Ok, I took a break from typing this so that I could go and rinse the hair color out of my hair because I realized that it was starting to kind of dry which means it had been on just a bit too long. The good news is that my hair has only a slightly purplish tinge to it. The bad news is that I always seem to miss a small section in front of my ear and I don't notice it until it's too late.
I hate it when that happens. It's like my gray hair is mocking me and is all "You can dye but you can't hide. I win, Gypsy."
Bastards.
I've had a topic in mind but didn't put it into writing and then I'll go read someone else's blog and see that they wrote about the very topic I was going to write about and I'm all, "Great, I can't write about that, people will think I'm a copy cat" and I have to come up with something else and the same thing happens all over again and it's a tough job blogging, even if nobody reads it.
Anyway, right now I'm sitting here with Garnier Nutrisse hair dye on my head, "Sangria" is the shade, and I can't remember how long it's been on my hair but I figure with the amount of gray hairs on my head, the longer the better although sometimes if I leave the hair color on my head too long I end up with magenta hair which would be ok if I were a 23 year old Goth chick instead of an over-the-hill NOT Goth mother to two teenagers, one of whom is going off to college in a month but is being a total slug in the meantime. One time, my then-teenage nephew was looking at my hair with a funny look on his face and finally he blurted out, "Dang Aunt Kelly, your hair is purple!" and everyone laughed and I was all haha but at least the gray was covered up and that's what's important here because I got lots of gray. Probably more than both my sisters combined and I'm the youngest. It's so not fair.
Every so often I wonder what I'd look like if I were to stop coloring my hair and embrace my "natural" look and then I snap out of it. It would be one thing if my gray was a lovely silvery-white like Heloise from Hints From Heloise but because it's Me, it's more of a dingy yellowish gray that would make me look like I should be wearing hemp clothing and Birkenstocks with white athletic socks be surrounded by cats and my own sculptures created from Budweiser cans and empty mascara tubes and well, that's just not who I Am.
Ok, I took a break from typing this so that I could go and rinse the hair color out of my hair because I realized that it was starting to kind of dry which means it had been on just a bit too long. The good news is that my hair has only a slightly purplish tinge to it. The bad news is that I always seem to miss a small section in front of my ear and I don't notice it until it's too late.
I hate it when that happens. It's like my gray hair is mocking me and is all "You can dye but you can't hide. I win, Gypsy."
Bastards.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
It was a nice dream while it lasted
If I had written this last night at around 8:00pm, it would have been about how this morning I would finally, finally be the proud owner of a new Kindle. I really, really want a Kindle although I don't NEED a Kindle (shut UP, Kelly!) but I really, really want a Kindle and last night at 8:00pm I finally had the funds to finally buy my Kindle and can I use the words "finally," "really," and "Kindle" any more than I did in this paragraph?
Where did I find the money to buy a Kindle, you ask? Well, last night I went to a social gathering at a neighbor's house and it was one of those "bring your scrap gold and get cash!" parties and I figured what the heck, I have a few bits and pieces of yellow gold that I don't wear because I prefer white gold and platinum. I told TheManTheMyth what I was doing and he said, "but you don't have any gold jewelry" and I'm all, "Uh, yeah, I do!" as I held up my fancy ziplock bag of gold jewelry and he's all, "Oh, I was going to re-gift that to you at Christmas because I didn't think you remembered you had it" and I'm all, "you're joking, right?" and he laughed in a way that made me suspect he was serious but then I never know because he has a strange sense of humor sometimes and he DID think a transmission was a good birthday gift.
So I figured I would come home with about $50.00 to add to my Kelly Wants a Kindle Fund because seriously, my measly few pieces just looked, well, measly.
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, my few measly pieces added about $500.00 to my Kelly Wants a Kindle Fund. American dollars! I'm all, "SCORE!!" and I danced back home waving my check while singing, I'm gonna get a Kindle! I'm gonna get a Kindle!" because a Kindle is only $189.00 plus tax so that's more than enough for me to get my Kindle and I'm all woo-hoo and when the 'Zhay opened this morning, I'd be right there getting one and I would love it and squeeze it and I would call it "George."
It was a nice dream while it lasted. Because once the euphoria of my measly bits and pieces being worth much more than I even considered, reality set in and I realized that I needed to use that money to pay some unexpected medical bills from Thing 1's visit to a Utah hospital back in May.
If I was a more selfish and self-centered person than I normally am, I would have gone straight from the party to Target and bought my Kindle right then and there, justifying the purchase because it was MY jewelry but responsible me and adult me knew I just couldn't do that, not when work is slow these days so any extra cash needs to be used for important things, like medical bills because Thing 1 is not a cheap date.
It only took about 5 minutes from the time I had mentally bought my Kindle until I realized I wasn't buying my Kindle after all but it was a nice dream while it lasted.
Where did I find the money to buy a Kindle, you ask? Well, last night I went to a social gathering at a neighbor's house and it was one of those "bring your scrap gold and get cash!" parties and I figured what the heck, I have a few bits and pieces of yellow gold that I don't wear because I prefer white gold and platinum. I told TheManTheMyth what I was doing and he said, "but you don't have any gold jewelry" and I'm all, "Uh, yeah, I do!" as I held up my fancy ziplock bag of gold jewelry and he's all, "Oh, I was going to re-gift that to you at Christmas because I didn't think you remembered you had it" and I'm all, "you're joking, right?" and he laughed in a way that made me suspect he was serious but then I never know because he has a strange sense of humor sometimes and he DID think a transmission was a good birthday gift.
So I figured I would come home with about $50.00 to add to my Kelly Wants a Kindle Fund because seriously, my measly few pieces just looked, well, measly.
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, my few measly pieces added about $500.00 to my Kelly Wants a Kindle Fund. American dollars! I'm all, "SCORE!!" and I danced back home waving my check while singing, I'm gonna get a Kindle! I'm gonna get a Kindle!" because a Kindle is only $189.00 plus tax so that's more than enough for me to get my Kindle and I'm all woo-hoo and when the 'Zhay opened this morning, I'd be right there getting one and I would love it and squeeze it and I would call it "George."
It was a nice dream while it lasted. Because once the euphoria of my measly bits and pieces being worth much more than I even considered, reality set in and I realized that I needed to use that money to pay some unexpected medical bills from Thing 1's visit to a Utah hospital back in May.
If I was a more selfish and self-centered person than I normally am, I would have gone straight from the party to Target and bought my Kindle right then and there, justifying the purchase because it was MY jewelry but responsible me and adult me knew I just couldn't do that, not when work is slow these days so any extra cash needs to be used for important things, like medical bills because Thing 1 is not a cheap date.
It only took about 5 minutes from the time I had mentally bought my Kindle until I realized I wasn't buying my Kindle after all but it was a nice dream while it lasted.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I'm not stoned, I'm stupid!
I'll admit, sometimes I'm as dense as pudding. As dense as drywall compound. As dense as concrete. Let's face it, I can't see the forest for the trees.
Case in point: I was working as a receptionist for a direct mail company. Lots of phone calls in those days before automated voice systems and the switchboard was very tricky but I was damn good at it, always have been a fantastic receptionist if I do say so myself and well lookey there, I did say so myself.
Ahem. Anyway, I had been working as a receptionist for this company for a few months when the head of another department stopped at the front desk to ask how I was doing, how did I like working for the company and did I know there was an opening in her department? I did know because I had to sort through the applications, administer tests to the applicants who came in for interviews (most of them them failed the tests all applicants were given. Sad) and report back to Human Resources with my impressions of the applicants. Obviously, they thought I had a brain and valued my opinion. Department Head asked if I had given any thought to this position my ownself because she thought I was perfect for the job.
And dumb, box o' rocks me said no, I was fine and happy where I was, answering phones, opening mail, greeting visitors. Yeah, Executive Washroom, here I come!
HELLO??? She was offering me a promotion with a higher salary and I declined. Because I'm stupid. The other people from that department took me to lunch about a week later and smacked me with a clue by four and I reconsidered and accepted the position that was being handed to me on a platter.
So yes, I'm clueless.
Back at Christmastime, TheManTheMyth and I were watching TV and the commercial for the Kindle came on and he asked me to explain what the Kindle was/is and I did and he asked me if that was something I'd be interested in for Christmas?
And I, the ardent bibliophile, the person who has books littering and cluttering up the house, the person who is usually reading 3 or 4 books at one time (one for reading in bed, one for reading in my car when waiting to pick up Thing 2 from school, one in the living room, one in the bathroom) said, "Nah, I don't think it's something I really need."
Cheezus Christ on a Cracker, how dumb could I be? TheManTheMyth even looked at me like, "Are you stoned or just stupid?"
Obviously, since I haven't done drugs in a decade or two, I was stupid. And now, now that I realize why yes, I do indeed want a Kindle, a Kindle would be FABULOUS, a Kindle would make my reading so much more convenient and bring Joy to my life, funds are pretty tight on account of work being very slow, again, and every spare cent is needed for things like food, mortgages and health insurance. Even a used Kindle is not feasible at this time, unless I sell some plasma or my dried up 47 year old eggs or something.
Maybe THIS Chrismas, when TheManTheMyth asks if I want a Kindle, I won't be so stupid as to refuse.
But don't count on it.
Case in point: I was working as a receptionist for a direct mail company. Lots of phone calls in those days before automated voice systems and the switchboard was very tricky but I was damn good at it, always have been a fantastic receptionist if I do say so myself and well lookey there, I did say so myself.
Ahem. Anyway, I had been working as a receptionist for this company for a few months when the head of another department stopped at the front desk to ask how I was doing, how did I like working for the company and did I know there was an opening in her department? I did know because I had to sort through the applications, administer tests to the applicants who came in for interviews (most of them them failed the tests all applicants were given. Sad) and report back to Human Resources with my impressions of the applicants. Obviously, they thought I had a brain and valued my opinion. Department Head asked if I had given any thought to this position my ownself because she thought I was perfect for the job.
And dumb, box o' rocks me said no, I was fine and happy where I was, answering phones, opening mail, greeting visitors. Yeah, Executive Washroom, here I come!
HELLO??? She was offering me a promotion with a higher salary and I declined. Because I'm stupid. The other people from that department took me to lunch about a week later and smacked me with a clue by four and I reconsidered and accepted the position that was being handed to me on a platter.
So yes, I'm clueless.
Back at Christmastime, TheManTheMyth and I were watching TV and the commercial for the Kindle came on and he asked me to explain what the Kindle was/is and I did and he asked me if that was something I'd be interested in for Christmas?
And I, the ardent bibliophile, the person who has books littering and cluttering up the house, the person who is usually reading 3 or 4 books at one time (one for reading in bed, one for reading in my car when waiting to pick up Thing 2 from school, one in the living room, one in the bathroom) said, "Nah, I don't think it's something I really need."
Cheezus Christ on a Cracker, how dumb could I be? TheManTheMyth even looked at me like, "Are you stoned or just stupid?"
Obviously, since I haven't done drugs in a decade or two, I was stupid. And now, now that I realize why yes, I do indeed want a Kindle, a Kindle would be FABULOUS, a Kindle would make my reading so much more convenient and bring Joy to my life, funds are pretty tight on account of work being very slow, again, and every spare cent is needed for things like food, mortgages and health insurance. Even a used Kindle is not feasible at this time, unless I sell some plasma or my dried up 47 year old eggs or something.
Maybe THIS Chrismas, when TheManTheMyth asks if I want a Kindle, I won't be so stupid as to refuse.
But don't count on it.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Entitlement AND Brilliance is Brilliant!
Ok, so I got this e-mail (for some strange reason it went into my SPAM folder. Weird, huh?) and how did I not know about this? I can just go out and buy stuff on credit all willy-nilly and then just walk away without ever actually paying for my new stuff. And by claiming that it was the fault of someone else and their actions, I am ENTITLED to a new Social Security Number and a Brand New Credit Report. And, it's "discrete." Which means nobody will find out. We can keep it on the down low and not involve those pesky governmental agencies. They don't need to stick their noses in my financial dealings.
Of course this is all 100% completely legal. Isn't it? I mean, it's on the Internet so it HAS to be legal. Right?
So I'm all,"Suh-weet! Where are the credit cards? Lemme at 'em!"
Hello,
Did you know that you are entitled (I love having a sense of Entitlement!) to a NEW Social Security Number? (Using names they got from the residents of the local cemetery, I'm sure.)
Of course this is all 100% completely legal. Isn't it? I mean, it's on the Internet so it HAS to be legal. Right?
So I'm all,"Suh-weet! Where are the credit cards? Lemme at 'em!"
Hello,
Did you know that you are entitled (I love having a sense of Entitlement!) to a NEW Social Security Number? (Using names they got from the residents of the local cemetery, I'm sure.)
- Brand New Credit Report
- Write Off All Previous Accounts
- New Start from Scratch
- 100% Discrete
Click Here to Get More Information
or Call 1 (888) 400-1252
(You will be asked to give your current SSN, your mother's maiden name and the name of your first pet so that they can make sure you're really you and they can take care of your credit problems. Trust them. They know what they're doing.)
or Call 1 (888) 400-1252
(You will be asked to give your current SSN, your mother's maiden name and the name of your first pet so that they can make sure you're really you and they can take care of your credit problems. Trust them. They know what they're doing.)
After my shopping spree, I'll just claim that Someone Else convinced me it was ok so it's not my fault and I can claim my new Social Security Number that I'm entitled to and I can start all over again! And again! And again! Don't be jealous.
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
In other financial news, my son, my blond son, found out the hard way that when you withdraw money out of your bank account, your balance goes down because the bank does not automatically replenish the money. I know, crazy, right! He simply could not understand how, if he had X dollars 5 days ago and withdrew Y and Z dollars over the course of the last few days, did he only have O dollars left in his account. He was positive the bank was up to some shifty shenanigans. So I got out my trusty calculator and a pencil and paper and by demonstrating my incredible mathematical skills, I was able to show him how subtraction works. My brilliance is Brilliant, I tell you! And mind-boggling, too!
So Blond Thing 1 finally acknowledges that the balance in his bank account is correct, that the only person stealing his money is himself. He's not happy but he now understands. And I'm trying to understand how he got A's in math all through high school.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some credit cards that are begging to be maxed out and a new Social Security Number waiting for me to go along with my sense of Entitlement that I'm Entitled to.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some credit cards that are begging to be maxed out and a new Social Security Number waiting for me to go along with my sense of Entitlement that I'm Entitled to.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Agony of Defeat
So, Thing 2 has been playing roller hockey for, I dunno, 7 or 8 years now. The hockey season is, well, seasonal with Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall sessions. Her various teams have gone on to the Championship game five times and five times she has walked skated away with the Second Place trophy.
I don't have photos from three of the games because for several years, I didn't have a camera that actually worked so just picture these pictures three more times and you get the idea.
So, this season, the Spring 2010 season, She gets on a team and within 2 hours after the first game, she is traded to a different team. With a coach she's had issues with previously. And because I'm one of those helicopter parents who thinks whatever her kid wants her kid should have, I demanded to the management that she get placed with a coach who will tell her how fabulous she is and that she can do no wrong. Oh. Wait. I didn't do that. Because I'm not one of those idiot parents. I gave her a choice: play with this coach or don't play at all. She chose to play (and I use the term loosely) and her coach alternated between screaming at her and complimenting her. And for the first time in her career, she went an entire season without ever scoring a single goal, although she had several assists.
Anyway, her team finished the regular season in 1st place, won in playoffs so guess who was going to the Championship game for the SIXTH time? Sixth time's the charm, right?
Or not.
Her team got on the board first and then completely fell apart. They couldn't get that puck anywhere near the net if their lives depended on it but their opponents didn't have a problem. I thought we were going to have a Mercy, which happens when a team gets a 10 point lead and then the game is OVER, even if it's in the 2nd period. That didn't happen but it was close. Final score: Penguins 2, Rangers 10. Ouch.
So, once again, Thing 2 gets her 2nd Place trophy which joins the other 5 in her trophy case.
Who is thrilled with her trophy? Not Kaylyn. And who happily posed for pictures? Not Kaylyn. I had to take this one while walking backwards while she skated towards the locker room.
Kaylyn and her Number One Fan, Sean.
And based on her admittedly lackluster performance this season ("I'm just not FEELING it this season." Really? I hadn't noticed. Oh. Wait.), I think it's time to hang up the skates for the summer.
So, this season, the Spring 2010 season, She gets on a team and within 2 hours after the first game, she is traded to a different team. With a coach she's had issues with previously. And because I'm one of those helicopter parents who thinks whatever her kid wants her kid should have, I demanded to the management that she get placed with a coach who will tell her how fabulous she is and that she can do no wrong. Oh. Wait. I didn't do that. Because I'm not one of those idiot parents. I gave her a choice: play with this coach or don't play at all. She chose to play (and I use the term loosely) and her coach alternated between screaming at her and complimenting her. And for the first time in her career, she went an entire season without ever scoring a single goal, although she had several assists.
Anyway, her team finished the regular season in 1st place, won in playoffs so guess who was going to the Championship game for the SIXTH time? Sixth time's the charm, right?
Or not.
Her team got on the board first and then completely fell apart. They couldn't get that puck anywhere near the net if their lives depended on it but their opponents didn't have a problem. I thought we were going to have a Mercy, which happens when a team gets a 10 point lead and then the game is OVER, even if it's in the 2nd period. That didn't happen but it was close. Final score: Penguins 2, Rangers 10. Ouch.
So, once again, Thing 2 gets her 2nd Place trophy which joins the other 5 in her trophy case.
And based on her admittedly lackluster performance this season ("I'm just not FEELING it this season." Really? I hadn't noticed. Oh. Wait.), I think it's time to hang up the skates for the summer.
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