Wednesday, February 13, 2013

SOME THINGS I'VE BEEN DOING WHEN I WASN'T BLOGGING. WHICH, CONSIDERING HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE MY LAST POST, IS A LOT

Oh, it's been a while since I've last regaled you with either tidbits of wisdom or exciting events in my life so in today's post, you get both!

It's a Win-Win!

For everyone!

So here we go.  You might want to sit down for a few of these.  The others, you can continue to stand.

We got a new sofa!

I KNOW!!!

Okay, it's a "previously owned" sofa purchased via Craigslist (Ol' Craig is all right in my book) but to us, it's NEW!

Our former sofa, also purchased with help from Craig and his list, was a replacement for our former sectional that had lost its ooomph, not to mention its springs and I couldn't stand it any longer because just sitting on it for more than a short time would cause my hips to ache like a mo-fo so I perused Whatshisname's List and found a La-Z-Boy reclining sofa for dirt cheap and that sufficed until it became obvious that we only had seating for 3 people in our living room and seeing as there are 4 of us in this family, someone always got the shaft so once again I hit the 'List because money is scarce so a brand new sofa was out of the question and clearly we needed a sectional instead of a single sofa and could this sentence BE any longer?

Anyhoo, BEHOLD!  Our new (for us) mega-sofa!
There's enough room for all 4 of us, PLUS guests, PLUS dogs.  And it's so ding-dang comfortable, too!

TheManTheMyth says it's the most comfortable sofa we've ever had so that right there says it was $400 well spent.

Moving on.

Guess what I did on Superbowl Sunday?

Here's a hint:
In case you aren't sure what that is, THAT is my Finisher's Medal from the Surf City Half Marathon!

WAY!!!

Yes, folks, I actually did a Half Marathon!

I KNOW!!!

People who know me are thinking, "It's like I no longer even KNOW her!" because people who know me know that doing a (Half) Marathon is something they can't possible picture me doing but I did it and I finished so suck on that, people!


Yes, it took a bit of time to finish since I mostly walked the 13.1 miles and I had to stop and go to the bathroom A LOT since I kept drinking lots of water and my friend Debbie was having a hard time and I didn't want to leave her behind

but I DID sprint at a full gallop the last 1/8 mile to the finish line because I was damned if I was going to cross that finish WALKING.  No sir, not me!  I've got my pride.

So, YAY ME!  Now I need to start training for the OC Half Marathon in May and I need to shave at least 30 minutes off my time because there is a time limit for this one.  And when I finish, I will have 2/3 of the Beach City Challenge completed and when I finish the Long Beach Half Marathon in October, I will get a Big-Ass Gigantic Medal.  And I like me some hardware.  Cash would be better but I'll take the Big-Ass Gigantic Medal.

Onward.

Fabulous News: The lovely Thing 2 was accepted at every college she applied to (or, to be proper, "Every college to which she applied") and there was much rejoicing when she received her acceptance e-mail from her School of Choice because that letter arrived MONTHS after she sent out her applications and things were getting pretty nerve-wracking around here when weeks went by with nary a word from the college that is literally within walking distance from our house.

But accepted she was, so, YAY!  

Now we get to sell some body parts to pay the tuition.

Next up:

On this Ash Wednesday, how can I NOT mention the Pope throwing in the towel?  What is up with THAT?

My suspicion is that he's got the Alzheimer's.

Or, now that he's got a Twitter account, he's hoping to start a new career promoting businesses, nightclubs, UFC fights and various reality TV shows.

What?  It could happen! 

But now, a new Pope has to be chosen and I've come up with a great idea. 

A Pope Pageant!

Contestants would come out and introduce themselves:

"Hi there, I'm Cardinal Ouellet of the French Canadians coming to you from Beautiful Quebec!"

There would be a snappy song-and-dance number and each contestant would have to perform a talent (I'm praying for a fire-baton number!) and then there would be the always-entertaining On Stage Question (no sermonizing allowed).

Sadly, we would have to do away with the swimsuit portion because really, who wants to see a bunch of old men in Speedos?

We'd also have to do away with the Evening Gown segment because they'd all wear the same red gown with white lace apron and matching beanie.

Judges for the Pope Pageant would include Father Guido Sarducci and the Church Lady.

I bet a Pope Pageant would knock TV ratings out of the ballpark.  Take THAT, Miss America!

Okay, serious time here.

For the past week, Southern California has endured one of the largest manhunts in state history, looking for an ex-cop who was a little upset over being fired a few years ago and decided to bring attention to his situation by going on a murderous rampage in revenge, killing 4 people including 2 law enforcement officers.

Now, I've been fired from a job once or twice (3 times?) in my employment history and one of those times screwed me up emotionally big time.  Oh, I was a mess, I tell you.  I literally had nightmares for months about the circumstances of that termination.

Anyway, my point is, not once did I EVER consider seeking revenge or start slaughtering innocent people to bring attention to my unfortunate employment termination.  And I had been Employee of the Month!

And the reason I did not go on a murderous rampage was because I am not a psychopath.

And that's all I have to say about that.







 

2 comments:

  1. Dear Lawdy, I LOVE the Pope Pagent!!! That would be off the chain!

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. A great big CONGRATULATIONS on completing the half marathon! You should be incredibly proud of yourself.

    2. Congratulations also to Thing 2 for acceptance to her college of choice. I know how relieved she must be.

    3. I am dying over the Pope Pageant! Father Guido Sarducci and the Church Lady as judges killed.me.dead. Your idea is so fabulous, you could sell tickets and finance your daughter's college education. Win-Win.

    4. I am also loving your new sofa. Glad it passed the comfort test.

    ReplyDelete