AND I RAN, I RAN SO FAR AWAY

Guess what I did yesterday?

No, go on, guess?

Give up?

I entered, ran AND finished my very first 5K race!

I KNOW!!!

I, who have not run willingly unless the police, hockey players, rabid dogs or zombies were involved, did this willingly.

LOOK!  Photographic evidence!

And, for all you doubters out there, proof that I finished

I KNOW!!!

Yeah, I know it's not the fastest time out there, I believe I finished something like 82nd in my age group (45-49) but dammit, I FINISHED!


My time would have been much better if either of these men* were running away from me ahead of me, 

They can run but they can't hide.
 
I have to give huge thanks to the following people:

My seester, Bippy (in blue), who "sponsored" me, meaning, she paid for my entry fee which meant there was no way I could flake out because she would kick my ass.

My friend Miss Lisa (in DayGlo Green) who kept me motivated and encouraged throughout because people, I had never run for more than a few minutes at a time since high school.

And kudos to my brother-in-law, Garen, for finishing his first 10K.  

That's Garen in the white tank, with Lisa's husband John (who finished WAAAAAY before Garen), offering encouragement toward the finish line.  Pay no attention to the little kid finishing ahead of Garen. 

We all had a great time, the weather was perfect (overcast, cool and gloomy) and when I got home, still feeling that Runner's High, Gracie Lou was waiting for me to take her on HER morning walk.

And guess who's moving just a wee bit slow this morning?  That would be me.  You can call me Uncle Joe, who's a-movin' kind of slow at the Junction.

*Of COURSE I would find a way to include hot hockey players in a post about running.  Because I'm Me.  And I love hockey.  And hockey players.   Okay, I'm done.
 

ONE MORE YEAR. PLEASE.

If there is a sport that I love more than any other, it's hockey.


I love me some hockey.


I also love me some hockey players.  Although they prefer that I love them from a distance of at least 150 feet.


Party poopers.


Anyway.


My daughter, Thing 2, shares my love of hockey.  TheManTheMyth and Thing 1 do Not.


Philistines.


Anyway.


What with the love that Thing 2 and I share for hockey, you'd think that we'd be season ticket holders for Our Team, the Anaheim Ducks or at least attend as many games as possible.


You'd be wrong.


I have gone entire SEASONS without attending a single game.  Which kills me but shit happens.


This year, I vowed that I would go to at least ONE game and as the clock ticked on the regular season and it became apparent that my team would not make the playoffs, I threw caution to the wind and bought tickets to last night's final home game.

Which means we'll be eating cereal and soup all week but dammit, I NEEDED my hockey.


Here is a view from our seats, which came with oxygen masks because we were WAAAAAY up there in the nosebleed section:

And those weren't the cheapest seats, either.


It was Fan Appreciation Night and there were thousands of prizes and goodies being given out as well as actual game jerseys given to a handful of lucky fans after the game.

Guess who didn't win a single thing?  Not even a coupon for a haircut, let alone Jonas Hiller's game jersey.  I would have traded Thing 1 for that jersey.

The three of us (Thing 2, her sidekick Sara and I) had a great time despite coming home empty handed:

Gee, and you wonder why the demented woman pictured above is not allowed anywhere near the players.

I promised Thing 2 that we would try to make it to at least one game a month next season.

We're hoping that Teemu Selanne will hold off on retiring and give us just One More Year.  


Last night, the cheers and chants of "One More Year" even delayed the dropping of the puck.  Even Thing 2 said that's the loudest she's ever heard the crowd at Honda Center.


Come back, Teemu.  Just One More Year.

DO IT!!! VOTE FOR HILLER!!!

HALF A BILLION DOLLARS!

Tonight, there will be the drawing for the largest lottery jackpot in world history.

Over $540,000,000.00 

That's Half a BILLION dollars.

In American money.

The mind boggles and the flabber is gasted at the thought that one person can actually win that much money in one fell swoop.

And of course there is "Lottery Fever" sweeping the nation as people from states that do not participate in the MegaMillions lottery are jumping in their cars and traveling to states that DO participate so that they too can get in on the action.

People are buying hundreds, if not thousands of dollars worth of tickets just to increase their less-than-stellar odds of winning.

Certain lottery vendors that seem to have much better luck at producing winning tickets than normal (and why is that?  Isn't this supposed to be "random?" Hmmmm) have hundreds of people standing in line just to be able to buy tickets.

So, of course, the big question is What Would Kelly Do If She Won Half of a Billion Dollars?

I'll tell you.

Well, I'm sure that after checking my ticket(s) and seeing that, yes, I AM an instant multi-millionaire, I would have to change my clothes because I'm pretty sure that my bladder and bowels would let loose simultaneously.

Oh, come ON!  You would so shit your pants if you won! 

So after changing my chonies and breathing into a paper sack to keep from passing out from hyperventilation, I would waste no time in making my first Lottery Winning purchase.  


Something I have dreamed about having since I was a kid.

Yes, my very own Skee Ball game.


And no, I am not kidding.


Other things I would buy/spend money on include season tickets to the Anaheim Ducks NHL team.  Heck, I could go and see the Ducks play at every game on the schedule, even the Away games!

College tuition for both of my offspring would be handled.  A trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame for Thing 2 would be on the list.  Her dream destination is Canada, where she is positive the streets are paved with hockey pucks and there's an NHL player on every corner.

 We would be able to send Thing 1 to the Qualifying rounds for the ISDE (International Six Day Enduro) and then if he qualifies, to the ISDE itself which will take place this year in Saxony, Germany.  It's his dream to be able to compete in the ISDE.  And the Erzberg Rodeo.  


TheManTheMyth, who would accompany Thing 1, would also be able to have the entire fleet of KTM dirt bikes so that he could ride and ride as much as his little heart desires.  Nothing brings as much joy to TheManTheMyth as being able to ride his KTM.


I'd buy my Mommy a home in Palm Spring so that she could live out the rest of her life in comfort.

We were discussing the lottery jackpot last night at dinner and Thing 2 asked if we would move to a new house/city if we won and TMTM and I looked at each other and we both said, "No."  We really don't see the need to move to a bigger house or to a different city and/or state.  We both feel that where we live, which is Coastal Southern California, is the best place in the whole country as far as climate is concerned.  

I also would not run out and buy a flashy sports car although TMTM would love Shelby GT500 Mustang.

It's his dream car.  

Of course I would make a sizable donation to a Worthy Cause.


Obviously I would follow this advice so that I wouldn't end up losing every penny due to mismanagement, freeloaders and other shenanigans.


Of course, none of this will be possible if I don't go out and actually BUY a ticket.  That does help the process, I've found.


Oh, and in the last 2 hours, the jackpot has grown by over 100 MILLION DOLLARS (insert Dr. Evil's evil laugh here).


Predictions of a $700 Million Dollar jackpot are not far-fetched.


Mind boggling, I tell you.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Source: instagr.am via Kelly on Pinterest

The gloves couldn't come off fast enough.