Oh my God, people.
You'll never guess what I just finished doing, not in a million, trillion years so I'll just go ahead and tell you.
I am not shitting you.
And yes, I am dying.
Hang on, I have to put my head between my knees.
And breathe into a paper bag.
What's that bright light?
The last time I ran and not because I was being chased by a pack of zombie dogs was, well, let me think.
So what brought on this madness (MADNESS! I say!)?
Since I'm doing the Run Seal Beach 10K next month, I figured I'd better be able to say with all honesty that I ran at least part of it.
And because I want to be in much better shape by the time I hit the big Five Oh than I was when I hit the big Four Oh.
Which ain't saying much as I haven't been in the greatest shape throughout my 40s due to a love of Crack and Silver Bullets.
Although I rarely drink beer any more. Maybe one beer once a month, if that.
Seeing as I can be filed under "well endowed" I figured if I was going to do this running thing, I'd better get me a serious sports bra so that I wouldn't get knocked out while running.
And a serious bra it is. Ugly, too.
That's not me modeling it. In case you wondered.
It may not be something out of Vicky's Secret but it kept my knockers from knocking me out.
So now you're probably wondering just how far/long did I run?
Well, I'll be honest and admit that I did not run the entire 2 miles.
Because have you SEEN me?
I would run for about 30 seconds and then walk for 90.
Run from the stop sign to the next block and so on and so forth.
I figured out of the 2 miles I did, I ran a total of about 3/4 of a mile which may not seem much but hello?
Have you SEEN me?
So, yay me and let's hope I don't wake up dead tomorrow.