IN WHICH THE TELEVISION GODS CONSPIRE AGAINST ME

For reasons beyond my ken, the television Gods are conspiring against me this fine Winter Sunday where it's 80 degrees in my neck of the woods and remind me again that Global Warming is a myth, will ya?

WHY are the television Gods conspiring against me, you ask?

I'll tell you.

For starters, I had set my DVR to record several programs today.  Several IMPORTANT programs.

The first sign of trouble was when the first program, AMA Supercross, wasn't shown when CBS said it would be shown which makes them big, fat, hairy liars.  Instead of the scheduled Supercross, it was some stupid political show with Michelle "Crazy Eyes and a Closeted Husband" Bachmann and some other people yammering on about who is the "True Conservative" in the current crop of GOP Presidential wannabes.

And because my DVR and Verizon Fios programming still insisted it was CBS Sports Spectacular (Spectacular FAIL!), my DVR recorded said political show.

Isn't that swell?


If you are friends with me on Facebook, you got to witness a serious fit being pitched about the CBS Supercross Switch.  The was much gnashing of teeth, rending of garments, tearing of hair and screams of rage.

We take our motorcycle racing serious in this house.

So then a mad scramble ensued to find out exactly WHEN CBS would be showing last night's Supercross and ALLEGEDLY, it will be shown here in the LA area at 4:00pm but we shall see and I'm not holding my breath.

But it gets better.

The Supercross Lites race was scheduled to be shown on SpeedTV and I had made sure to set my DVR to record that.

But when I checked my DVR "Scheduled" page, the Lites race was not showing up in the scheduler.

So I check the channel and the Series Manager and yes, it's got the little check box thingamajig that tells me it's a Series that will be recorded.

But guess what?

It would not record.  It would not record.  IT WOULD NOT RECORD!!!!!

So then I decide I'll just delete the recording from the scheduler and record it manually.  Sounds easy, right?


WRONG.


I could not make a single change to that particular program.  It wouldn't record but it wouldn't let me delete or change anything.  I tried and I tried and I tried and my DVR and Verizon Fios programming just LAUGHED at me and my feeble attempts to take control.


Finally I just flung the remote across the room and let out a wail of anguish that brought the dogs running to my assistance and caused Thing 2 to roll her eyes and to tell me to take a chill pill.


I think there were daggers shooting from my eye sockets at THAT.  Thing 2 has zero interest in anything motorcycle.  Obviously, she's a Changeling left by the Gypsies.


I was finally able to record the Lites race but on the non-HD channel.  Which is like recording something in black and white on a color TV.


It's just wrong.


The CBS and its programmers are WRONG!!!


Bastards.


But on a positive note, NBCSports did nothing to screw up the NHL All Star game.


CBS would have.


Because THEY DON'T CARE.


Bastards.