Saturday, August 13, 2011


You know how in Scooby Doo, the original Scooby Doo Mysteries which was the best of all the Scooby Doo cartoons before they went all "Hollywood" with D-List celebrities making guest appearances (Sandy Duncan?) in cartoon form and where was I going with this, you're asking yourselves.

Velma Eugenie Dinkley is where I'm going with this.
Velma, the Smart One.

Who was also completely blind without her glasses.

So why am I talking about Velma, you ask?

I'll tell you.

I have become Velma.

No, I haven't started wearing orange turtleneck sweaters with matching knee socks and a red skirt and shoes.

When I say I have become Velma, I mean I've started groping around for my glasses on a regular basis while saying, "Where's my glasses?  I can't see a thing without my glasses!"

11 years ago I had Lasik surgery, which was the best thing I've EVER done and it was like a whole new world opened up for me because I was beyond near-sighted with a raging case of astigmatism thrown in for shits and giggles.  

For 11 years I've was one of Those Who No Longer Need Glasses.  

That changed this year.

So I got an eye exam for the first time in 11 years and discovered that yeah, I do need some reading glasses because growing old is a bitch on the old peepers.

At first, I would wear my glasses only when I was reading but now, now I'm Velma Dinkley constantly reaching and groping around for my glasses.  Which I can never find because I carry them all over the house with me, putting them on to look at something and then taking them off and putting them down.

Every time TheManTheMyth asks me to take a look at something, he gets to hear me say, "Hang on, I need my glasses.  I can't see a thing without my glasses."

And then I go on a search for my glasses.

I could always stick an old-lady chain on my glasses and have them hanging on my chest all day but I'm not quite ready for that.


Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my glasses.

I can't see a thing without my glasses.


  1. Forget the effing vanity......get an eyeglass chain......they are wonderful!

    Without my chain I would spend the entire day and nite looking for my glasses even though I have many pairs in every room of the house. The chains have changed my life absolutely for the better.

  2. Jinkies! I can't even imagine Velma wearing contacts or not having glasses. It just takes the fun out of it. But you, being a person and not a cartoon character, need to take care of your eyesight.