Saturday, March 26, 2011

Death by the Axe

Does it drive you nuts, the way it drives ME nuts, when people mispronounce words?

When you want to read a book, do you go to the "liberry?"  Well, *I* go to the "LiBRARY."  Because I'm weird that way.  I figure books would be at the library and berries are found at a liberry.  

Makes sense, no?

Do you know how many times I have heard a politician, who really should know better, pronounce a certain word as "NooCueLur."   Hello!  It's "NooKleeYur."  Which is why it's spelled "Nuclear" which I guess can be pronounced as "New Clear" which is pretty darn close to New Klee Year" but it is NOT a New Cue Lur.  Get it right you politicians and newspeople!

Years ago I worked with a lovely older woman whose name I cannot remember so I will call her "Betty."  Betty was one of those people who is always happy and this was her first office job and she was always cheerful and happy and eager to learn and we all just loved her.  She was a breath of fresh air in a stale office. 

There was just one problem with Betty.

Betty was always threatening to kill us.  And she was going to do it in a terrible way.

She was going to AXE us.

Everyday, she would say, "Can I axe you something?" and we'd be all, "No Betty!  Please don't axe us!  We want to live!  But if you want to ASK us something, that would be fine."

And Betty, being the wonderful lady she was despite her serial killer tendencies, would laugh and then she would ASK her question.

And we'd all breathe a sigh of relief that once again, we had escaped a horrible death.

Death by axing.

Behold a picture of me taken in 1974 where I show my intelligence by playing a game of Chess with an unknown opponent.


  1. Kelly, you must be my lost twin. Mispronunciation drives me almost as crazy as misspelling.

    Let's hire a hit man or two....oh well....maybe not....,it would get very expensive.

  2. I dvr Jeopardy every day (not everyday) and lately there have been so many contestants that say "I'll take Potpourri for four hunnnerd, Alex". wtf? Hunnerd?

    It is getting on my last nerve. Morons. How the hell did those idiots get on Jeopardy while I am sitting at home yelling the correct answers and using the word HunDRED?

  3. Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes!!!

    The nuclear one drives me absolutely bonkers. And people who say that something is a mute point. Mute?! Really? Do you perhaps mean MOOT?

    I also hate when people make up words. The other day on my blog someone commented that theme parks are "offensible". I can only assume she meant offensive.

    Great post, Kelly!