Buried my poverty, but...

There's a New Year's Eve tradition I've been doing for a couple of years and this time was no exception.  On New Year's Eve, you put some money, any denomination, in a ziplock bag and you bury it while saying the words, "I'm burying my poverty."  On New Year's Day, you uncover the money and say, "I'm uncovering wealth."  And then during the new year, you're supposed to come into some unexpected funds.  Oh, and you can't ever spend the money you buried.

So.  Last night I performed the ritual, burying a bill in a ziplock.  I did this in a small planter in my backyard.  And I stuck a spoon in the dirt right where I had buried the money mark the location.  And this morning I went outside to uncover my wealth.  The spoon was right there but the ziplock AND the money was not.  And I'm all, "What. The. Hell?" and I'm frantically digging around in the soil and nope, nothing.  Somehow, it had disappeared.  And in case you're wondering, I was stone-cold sober when I buried it we can't use drunken forgetfulness as an excuse for the missing money.

Of course I instantly knew who the culprit was:  Thing 2.  There is no way on God's Green Earth that she can ignore unattended cash money.  She just can't.  I mean, this is the child who even said she "collected vintage money" when she found a $2 bill on my dresser and demanded I hand it over.  Which I did in exchange for two $1 bills from her "collection." 


I marched into her cave, flipped on the overhead light, which caused her to gasp and hiss like a vampire does when hit by daylight, and asked her if she knew anything about the missing money.  Which of course she denied while trying to stifle her snickers and chortles.  It was only when I threatened to open her window shades and let natural light flood the cave that she confessed to digging it up after I went to bed.  Luckily, it was after midnight when she did it and technically New Year's but I don't know if she recited the magic words of "I'm uncovering my wealth" but knowing Her, she did it because she's all about the wealth.  Her wealth.


So other than That, we did have a lovely NYE.  Thing 1's girlfriend, who we affectionately call, "Someone" because in the early days of the romance, Kevin would say, "Someone is coming over" or "Someone got mad at me because I was stupid and got arrested over Halloween" so the name stuck and anyway, Someone joined Thing 2 and I for New Year's Eve because Kevin was in the desert and Someone didn't want to go out and party without her man so the three of us girls went to dinner and watched "Easy A" and by 11:45pm, we were pretty much dragging and five minutes after midnight, I was in bed although the two girls ended up staying up until around 2:00am.  To make sure I was fully asleep before digging up my money is what I'm guessing.


So we'll see if the buried money still works even though I wasn't the one to uncover the wealth.  If Thing 2 is the beneficiary of some unexpected wealth, I'm gonna kick her butt and demand she give me a cut.


Wait.  Who am I kidding?  Thing 2 share the wealth?  That'll never happen.


Sigh.