Saturday, January 1, 2011

Buried my poverty, but...

There's a New Year's Eve tradition I've been doing for a couple of years and this time was no exception.  On New Year's Eve, you put some money, any denomination, in a ziplock bag and you bury it while saying the words, "I'm burying my poverty."  On New Year's Day, you uncover the money and say, "I'm uncovering wealth."  And then during the new year, you're supposed to come into some unexpected funds.  Oh, and you can't ever spend the money you buried.

So.  Last night I performed the ritual, burying a bill in a ziplock.  I did this in a small planter in my backyard.  And I stuck a spoon in the dirt right where I had buried the money mark the location.  And this morning I went outside to uncover my wealth.  The spoon was right there but the ziplock AND the money was not.  And I'm all, "What. The. Hell?" and I'm frantically digging around in the soil and nope, nothing.  Somehow, it had disappeared.  And in case you're wondering, I was stone-cold sober when I buried it we can't use drunken forgetfulness as an excuse for the missing money.

Of course I instantly knew who the culprit was:  Thing 2.  There is no way on God's Green Earth that she can ignore unattended cash money.  She just can't.  I mean, this is the child who even said she "collected vintage money" when she found a $2 bill on my dresser and demanded I hand it over.  Which I did in exchange for two $1 bills from her "collection." 

I marched into her cave, flipped on the overhead light, which caused her to gasp and hiss like a vampire does when hit by daylight, and asked her if she knew anything about the missing money.  Which of course she denied while trying to stifle her snickers and chortles.  It was only when I threatened to open her window shades and let natural light flood the cave that she confessed to digging it up after I went to bed.  Luckily, it was after midnight when she did it and technically New Year's but I don't know if she recited the magic words of "I'm uncovering my wealth" but knowing Her, she did it because she's all about the wealth.  Her wealth.

So other than That, we did have a lovely NYE.  Thing 1's girlfriend, who we affectionately call, "Someone" because in the early days of the romance, Kevin would say, "Someone is coming over" or "Someone got mad at me because I was stupid and got arrested over Halloween" so the name stuck and anyway, Someone joined Thing 2 and I for New Year's Eve because Kevin was in the desert and Someone didn't want to go out and party without her man so the three of us girls went to dinner and watched "Easy A" and by 11:45pm, we were pretty much dragging and five minutes after midnight, I was in bed although the two girls ended up staying up until around 2:00am.  To make sure I was fully asleep before digging up my money is what I'm guessing.

So we'll see if the buried money still works even though I wasn't the one to uncover the wealth.  If Thing 2 is the beneficiary of some unexpected wealth, I'm gonna kick her butt and demand she give me a cut.

Wait.  Who am I kidding?  Thing 2 share the wealth?  That'll never happen.



  1. Kelly:

    I know that this comment is off topic, so you can delete it after you respond!

    I saw a post you made last year about the Spanish textbook dialogue we all learned in Jr. High. You qouted some of it (Quien es ese chico? Es un amigo mio? Como se llama? Se llama Juan. Ven, y telo presento. Juan, quiero presentarde a una amiga. Mucho gusto. El gusto es mio, soy Juan Martinez.) but said you remembered the rest of it. I have been looking for the complete dialogue for YEARS!!! Can you help? I know it starts:
    Hola Isabel, como estats? Esoy bien gracias, y tu? Bien gracias. Oye, quien es ese chico . . .

    Then, after the part you quote (which I did not remember), there's something like "Adonde vas ahora Juan? A la clase de espanol.

    Can you fill in the rest for me? I've been teasing my kids with it for years!

    Thank you and Happy New Year.

    Steven Levine

    1. Steven: As near as I can recall it from over 40 years back, the dialogue went as follows:
      Hola, Isabel, como estas?
      Estoy bien, gracias, y tu?
      Bien gracias. Oye, quien es ese chico?
      Es un amigo mio.
      Como se llama?
      Se llama Juan. Ven y te lo presento.
      Juan, quiero presentarde a una amiga.
      Mucho gusto.
      El gusto es mio. Soy Juan Martinez.
      Adonde vas ahora, Juan?
      A la clase de espanol.
      A! Tu estudias espanol? Nosotros tambien.
      Bueno. Vamos a la clase.

  2. Kelly, I'm afraid that child of yours is going to have to face the wrath of a 100 angry women for messing with tried and true tradition!!! How dare her?

    Oh well, I'm sure you'll uncover YOUR wealth this year despite her efforts. Happy New Year.

  3. I am sure the girls had so much fun digging your money up!! I can just see them now~!

  4. I love that tradition. I hope I remember it for next year.

    Ohhh, my wascally wabbit girls would do the very same thing. It probably doesn't matter who uncovers the wealth, since your prints are all over it.

    We have to hide the money around here because these kids are thieves of the worst kind when Starbucks is calling their name.

  5. I think the next line in the dialog is:

    Caramba, se me olvidó mi cuaderno!