SELLING MY CHILDREN TO THE GYPSIES

Not that I haven't considered it a time or two.

Actually, I'm not talking about my offspring, Things 1 and 2. 


Only because I don't think I can get any money for those two.  Goats, possibly.  Money, no.

Because who wants to pay good money for surly teens with expensive hobbies?

*I* certainly don't.  So, I'm stuck with them.

Anyhoo, the children I'm talking about are my books.  My babies.  My raison d'etre.

I never, EVER thought I'd say this but I have too many books and it's time to let them go to new homes.  

I KNOW!!!!

Anyone who knows me knows that is a shocking statement.  And at this point, you're thinking one of the following reasons for that shocking statement:


1.  She's dying.


b.  She's getting divorced and moving to a tiny hovel without any room for books.


iii.  She violated one or more of the multiple restraining orders that various hockey players have taken out on her and will be exiled to some Godforsaken hellhole that doesn't have a hockey team to stalk as punishment and she can't take any books with her.


If you guessed "iii" you'd be correct.


Oh, I'm kidding.  The correct answer is "Diabetes.  John has Diabetes."

Seriously, I laugh every time I see that poster.  The Bucket to Hell has room for one more and I'm climbing in.

While Answer iii is totally viable, not to mention probable, it is still not the correct answer.


The real reason is I need to clear out my office and the bookcase in my office is one of the things that needs to go:

For starters, it's ugly and I can say that because I didn't pay any money for it.  It was someone else's discard and came with my massive desk I hate so much.  That will be shitcanned as well, as soon as I convince TheManTheMyth to build me the desk I want, which is very similar to this one in Pottery Barn although I believe we can do it for much, MUCH less.  Basically, I want a countertop desk over 2 file cabinets.  One of which needs to be a lateral file cabinet.


But back to my books.


I have two other bookcases as well, one in my entry:

and one in my living room:

Please note my Nancy Drew collection.  Those aren't going anywhere.  And look, Mom!  There's the lamp you (and the rest of my family) hate so much!  That's not going anywhere, either.


But I have a diverse collection of books on various subjects and it's going to be hard deciding which to get rid of and which to keep. It's like Sophie's Choice in book form.


Or deciding which of my children to sell (or trade) to the Gypsies.


Decisions, decisions.