Well, I would if I had some scissors that would actually CUT. And not just a bitch but paper as well. But I don't have scissors that will actually cut ANYTHING.
Six pairs of scissors in this here household and not a one of them will cut. Not even buttah.
And why are scissors called "pairs?" If you take them apart, they're pretty much useless to cut with. Of course, MY six pairs of scissors ARE together and yet they're pretty much useless to cut with.
My Grandma had a thing for scissors. Every time we'd take her shopping at Costco (one of her favorite places to shop in the world), she's always buy yet another multi-pack of scissors. When she died and we were going through her things, we found, I dunno, 5 or 6 unopened multi-packs of scissors. And heating pads. We found lots of heating pads, too. It must be an old person thing.
But I digress.
So I've had this little craft project I've wanted to work on and yes, I know you're scratching your heads because I? am not known for my crafts. No "Loving Hands at Home" come from THIS gal. I tried scrapbooking but I was really more interested in the little scrapbooking gadgets than in actually USING them to make scrapbooks. I'd go on Scrapbook Retreats up in the mountains with friends and while everyone else was hard at work on their scrapbooks, I'd be shuffling photos around and making it look like I was working hard. But in all honesty, I was really just there for the gossip and to get the hell away from the kids for the weekend.
But I digress.
I've wanted to work on this little project for quite a while and have slowly been going about getting the materials together and today, I was ready to get this party started and to start, I needed to start cutting some, well, stuff. I can't tell you what it is because I'm not going to tell you what my little project is until it is finished and you can see for yourself and I'll explain then the whole point of this project.
Anyway. I get the scissors and attempt to start cutting and the frickin' scissors would not cut. My FINGERS would have cut better than these scissors. So I go in search of another pair. Which would not cut. And another pair. Which would not cut.
Six pairs later, I have accomplished diddly squat except take a photo of the six pairs of absolutely useless scissors we have in this here household:
As you can see, these scissors are pretty battered since TheManTheMyth and Things 1 and 2 like to use them to cut through bone, sheet metal, concrete, drywall and anything else that will make the blades duller than a Southern Baptist wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure that at least 2 of those scissors are from my Grandma's collection and she's been gone for 16 years so, yeah.
I'd better head on over to the Zhay and buy some scissors. And I will HIDE them and not let anyone know that there actually are scissors in this here household that will actually cut.
It'll be our little secret.