Monday, September 19, 2011

Flea Market Fun

Yes, folks, it's that time once again where I spent a Sunday at the Long Beach Antique Flea Market (held the 3rd Sunday each month), which is ALWAYS good for blog fodder.

This time, I went with my faithful reader (but rare commenter) and sidekick, Queen Stella.  Or, as I like to call her, "Bubbles."

For reasons beyond me, every time I go to the Flea Market, it doesn't matter if the weather forecast calls for blizzards and sub-zero temps, as soon as I walk through the gates at the Flea Market, it's blazing hot and temps reach "Swelter" range and yesterday was no exception.

One of the things I enjoy about the Flea Market is all the interesting items people are selling.

When I saw this, my first response was "What. The. Fuck?" and my second response was to whip out my phone and take a picture:
Seriously, this was some sick shit right here.  A limbless mannequin that had the nipples cut off and was gutted to show an assortment of fishing lures inside.

Oh. My. God.  I just took a closer look at that photo and the tits of this thing were NOT cut off but were made into open-mouth fish.  See the eyes?

Dude.  What. The. Fuck?

Okay, I'm even more creeped out now than I was when I saw it yesterday.  

Cute little plaid cooler for a stand, though.

Moving along, I saw a swell bed.  Sheet metal flames.
Handcuffs not included.

Several times, we saw dolls for sale and since dolls are one of the things that gives Bubbles a serious case of the creeps and since I am a caring friend, I made sure to point the dolls out to her and then use my Exorcist voice to further irritate her.  "Stella.  Look at me.  Look into my creepy doll eyes.  LOOK AT ME!!!!!"

Yeah, I'm a riot.

And then there was the picture of Mae West that someone tried to 3D by adding feathers and stuff.

If any of you read The Bloggess (and if you don't, you're missing out on some real genius), then you know about Beyonce and I don't mean the singer.  Go read it RIGHT NOW so you'll understand.

Someone was selling a Beyonce!!!  Unfortunately, they wanted $250, otherwise I'd have my very own Beyonce knocking on MY front door.

Unfortunately, also, I didn't take a picture of Flea Market Beyonce.

I also didn't take a picture of the one thing I wanted more than anything else I saw at the Flea Market.

It was a wrought iron full size cart that had a surrey-type of roof and it had wheels and everything about it screamed, "GYPSY CART!!!" and I wanted it so effing bad.  As Bubbles said, it could be blinged out with crystals and ribbons and jing-tinglers and it would have looked PERFECT in my backyard and there was just one problem.  Okay, two problems:  

1) It was $325.00 although the vendor said they would entertain any and all offers but I figured offering them $75 would be just a bit insulting and I was not going to pay a penny more because, well, that's all I had.

2) It was a full size cart, about the size of a street vendor hot dog cart and my car is a Chevy Cruze so getting it home had they accepted my $75 offer would have been a bit of a challenge.

So no Gypsy Cart for me and I'm STILL upset about it.  I told TheManTheMyth about it and he did ask how much but shook his head when I told him the price.  But I bet he would have been okay if it was $75.  If that vendor and cart are still there next month, I just might have to do some wheeling and dealing.  Because I WANT THAT CART!

All righty then.

We also saw a plant vendor who had a cute and unique method of displaying his plants:
A swingset for plants!  These particular plants were in these ginormous snail shells (ewww) but how cute would a swingset for plants look in your backyard?  WAY cute is what I'm saying.

While Bubbles and I were walking along, I was telling her about a vendor that I used to see every month.  This particular vendor specialized in, how shall I say, "funeraria."  I don't know if that's even a word but he sold all sorts of funeral-related items.  Including old caskets.  But Funerary Vendor hasn't been around in a couple of years.

And as I'm telling her about this, we both stopped dead in our tracks (no pun intended) and I'm all, "Do you see what I see?"  And she's all, "Uh, yeah" and I'm all, "No way!" and she's all "Way!"

And of course we have to hightail it over because how often do you see THIS at the Flea Market:
I KNOW!!!  Hockey sticks!!!  AND a crosscut saw!

I made a whole two purchases:

This will go in my backyard and be decorative.  Or something.

My other purchase was one of those folding old-lady shopping carts because I had brought my little Lawn Buddy that doubles as a wagon for any loot I purchased:
but those plastic wheels were noisier than shit on the asphalt and that got REAL old REAL fast.  Plus, the shopping cars were only $25 and I'll be able to use it over and over.

I also hit a couple of garage/yard sales this weekend and you know what just irritates the ever-lovin' crap outta me?  When I follow the jillion signs that all say, "HUGE YARD/GARAGE SALE" and when I get to said "huge" sale, there's nothing but a bunch of clothes scattered on a blanket along with old recalled baby items.

It's enough to sic that gutted mannequin on their asses.



  1. The fish nips are creepy but the color just screams horror to me! Lawdy, I'll be lucky if I don't have nightmares about that thing! Are you having nightmares about it yet?

  2. I love flea markets and garage sales - you find the oddest stuff and that mannequin definitely is odd and creepy too. But it got your attention and draws in potential customers so... We did garage sales last Sat and I hafta admit I get a bit pissed after following signs deep into suburbia only to find a dinky sale w/nothing but kid clothes. ack