I've been on pins and needles all week, waiting with breathless antici...PATION for either the mailman, the UPS guy or the FedEx guy to arrive on my doorstep.
Since I had no idea what carrier would be carrying my anxiously awaited package to me, any time I heard a Big Delivery Truck approaching, I'd go rushing to the door the way a 6 year old does when they hear the ice cream truck.
And then yesterday, I heard the sounds of a cardboard box being deposited on my front porch and then the sound of the mail slot, which really could use some WD-40 because it squeaks so badly but on the other hand, that squeak lets me know when I have mail the same way a "voop Voop VOOP!" sound effect told the Addams Family the mail was in. So maybe I won't use some WD-40.
My package was here! My package was here! I went tearing out the door and grabbed the box, screeching a "Thank you!" to the mailman and ran inside to open up the box.
I slit the tape, flung back the flaps, yanked out the inflated packing stuffing that looks like water wings and then I peered into the box.
And there they were. In all their glory.
I KNOW!!!! Couldn't you just DIE with envy?
But seriously, folks. When TheManTheMyth "surprised" me with that stupid Kirby vacuum that requires stupid vacuum bags and not just any vacuum bags but vacuum bags that will ONLY fit a Kirby which means I couldn't just make a quick trip to the 'Zhay because Kirby vacuum bags are "special" and must be purchased ONLY from "Authorized Kirby retailers" or some stupid thing and there were only 3 vacuum bags included with the purchase of the Stupid Kirby and once they're filled to the "full" line, which happens to be in the middle of the stupid bag so half the bag goes to waste, the stupid vacuum doesn't suck very good which means the stupid vacuum SUCKS in the bad sense of the word and can this sentence be any longer?
Of course we went through the original three bags pretty darn quick and found out that a pack of 3 bags of the stupid Special Kirby Vacuum Bags are over $40 and bend over and grab your ankles is what I'm saying.
So, about 2, 3 months ago, I ran out of bags and since the bag in the stupid Kirby was full, I couldn't use my vacuum and instead had to use the Dirt Devil, which works great on the carpet but just so-so on the hardwood floors and the attachment part of the DD isn't all that spectacular.
I didn't feel like driving the 20 miles to the nearest Authorized Kirby Retailer and spend $40 on THREE vacuum bags and quite frankly I didn't want to bother with the Official Kirby Website so instead, I went on Amazon. Because you can find pretty much anything on Amazon.
And for a total of $48.01 I got 18 vacuum bags. EIGHTEEN!!!!
Don't be hating on me for my exciting, glamorous life.