SOMEONE GET ME A FISHING POLE

No, I am not planning on going fishing because quite frankly, I just don't get the "a lure" (get it?) of standing there flinging a hook at the end of some line into the water in the hopes of a fish flinging itself upon said hook.  No thanks, I'll pass.

So I'm sure you're wondering why, if I have no intention of going fishing, would I ask for a fishing pole?  I'll tell you.

I need to reel in TheManTheMyth before he gets carried away.

Carried away with what, you ask.

Insert heavy sigh here.

TheManTheMyth has gotten a bee in his bonnet that we need to do some remodeling here and by remodeling, I mean he's talking about adding a family room AND a second story in addition to enlarging the kitchen.


Last night, he had his tape measure out and he'd come in the house, take some measurements and then head back out to his drafting table.


I was sitting at me desk when he came in and measured a section of the wall.  I watched him and then said, "Okay, I'll bite.  Why are you measuring that section of wall as if you're measuring for a door?"


And wasn't I surprised when he told me that there was a doorway already framed in, leading out to the patio although it's currently covered up by the wall.


So again, I'll bite.  "Why is there a doorway in that wall leading out to the patio when we already HAVE a door leading to the patio?"


He gave some explanation about how it's time to add a closet so we can turn my office into the 4th bedroom and I'm all, "Whutchoo talkin' about, Willis?" and then he goes on to say something about adding the second floor because when he built my office and the covered patio, he did the footings and grade beams or whatever so that it would simple (simple, he says) to just add a second floor and we'll be pushing the kitchen out about 4 feet and he's doing all the measurements because it's time to do the remodeling. 


Yes, because we have oodles of cash laying around that will pay for said remodeling of various additions that we need like a hole in the head.  Oh.  Wait.  We DON'T.  On either count.


And I ask him what he is planning on using this new wonderful second story for because I have no interest in having our master bedroom upstairs because *I* have no interest in climbing stairs and he should remember that sometimes it's an issue for him to lift his knees to climb the 2 steps of the porch and he just brushed my words aside as if they were those pesky gnats that buzz around.


And our big covered patio?  That's to be the new family room.  Uh huh.  And while he's at it, he's going to knock out the wall between the dining area and the laundry room/pantry to make it one great big open Great Room.  Uh huh.


And where, I ask, will the pantry go and what about the laundry?


At which point he accused me of having no vision and being happy to stay in my little world of no imagination and then he flounced off.


Our house is not large.  It's about 1600 square feet, give or take a few feet.  Three bedrooms plus an office/4th bedroom and 2 bathrooms plus an indoor laundry room off the kitchen.


The ONLY thing that needs to be remodeled is the kitchen.  It's circa 1976 because that's when my Grandparents "updated" it from its original 1954 charm of knotty pine cabinets with hammered iron hardware, Formica counters and an O'Keefe & Merritt range and copper range hood that I would KILL to have back.

So my Grandparents went with a "Harvest Gold and Brown" look for their floors, countertops and sink that was ugly then and it's even uglier now.

The only thing we've done to the kitchen in the 16 years we've lived here is cover up the paneling, get rid of the ghastly dropped T-bar ceiling and get new appliances.  So yeah, the kitchen can stand a facelift.


However, I feel painting the cabinets, new countertops (I'd like concrete, which TheManTheMyth can easily do seeing as he's a concrete contractor), new floor (make it either hardwood to match the rest of the house or slate) and a new stove and it'll look like a whole new kitchen.  All very affordable and doable.


But no.  TheManTheMyth wants to completely demo the entire kitchen, push it out about 4 feet and do it all New and Improved.


Again, see above for the "Oodles of Cash" remark.


So yeah, if someone can bring me a fishing pole so I can reel him and his grandiose ideas, I'd appreciate it.