Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Just Call Her Angel of the Morning

Thing 2, my darling daughter Thing 2, is many things.  She is beautiful, intelligent, clever, compassionate, affectionate, a natural athlete (which is her brother is Not and don't think she doesn't remind him of that) and she's one of the funniest people she knows.  Just ask her.

But there's one thing she is Not.  She is not a Morning Person.

This is someone who, if left undisturbed, would sleep until the afternoon.  She loves her some sleep and actually refers to herself as a "Professional Sleeper."

So you can imagine how much fun it is around here on weekday mornings when she has to be awoken at the ungodly hour of 6:45am.  

Oh, the Horror.

Seriously, it's like trying to rouse a vampire in the daylight.  There's the hiss and recoil as the light hits her and I half expect to see her skin blister and peel and her feet and legs roll up and slide back under the house.  

Oh.  Wait.

That's for the Wicked Witch of the East.

My bad.

When she emerges from The Cave, she is wrapped from head to toe in a heavy blanket.  Her face is hidden by the folds of the blanket.  She stumbles down the hall towards the living room, turning off lights as she goes.  

Breakfast is eaten in silence as she is incapable of forming words, let alone sentences.  Any attempts at conversation on my part is met with growls, scowls and grunts.

This morning while she was eating her Eggos, I was commenting on something of no particular importance because I have been known to babble now and then and she puts down her fork, turns to me and says, 

"You're really chatty this morning.  STOP. IT."

So being the kind, caring Mom that I am, a Mom who understands her daughter's desire for peace and quiet in the morning, I kick it up a notch and start babbling about anything and everything, just so I can watch her irritation levels rise to Def Con levels.

The drive to school was also a barrel of laughs as I continued to babble and she continued to seethe and say things such as, "Why are you doing this?  You know I'm not a Morning Person.  God!"

As she exits the car, I call out, "Have a Nice Day!" and while she didn't flip me off, I could tell she was considering it as she stalked off.

That's my little Angel of the Morning.


  1. I think I have her twin here! This cracked me up - my daughter is the same way! Next week is spring break - I am looking forward to not having to wake her up. It will be wonderful!

  2. This is hilarious! You're my kind of momma....I love to irritate them. Or maybe I live to irritate them...whatever. And my teenage son is the same way. He has to get up at the ungodly hour of 5:45 am and I drive him to school at 6:30. The most I can get out of him is a grunt or two.