I'm such a Twit

Okay, I have a Twitter account, @AnotherKelly.  I've had it for, I dunno, maybe 2 years.  

Hang on, lemme check.  Oh.  March of 2009.  So yeah, 2 years.

ANYWAY.

I rarely tweet (twit? chirp?) and I don't know all the lingo and and I don't follow trending topics or chitchat back and forth with people.


In other words, I'm not one of the Cool Twitter peeps.


But I'm okay with that.

Lately, I've been puzzled (what else is new?) because I keep getting notices from The Twitter that So-and-So is now following me on Twitter.  But here's the kicker:  they are all church-related.

And I'm thinking to myself, Do these people/groups even READ what I tweet?  Because I use The Profanity.  A lot.  Mostly the Eff Word but sometimes I also take the Lord's Name in Vain.  So where in the Sam Hill would they get the idea that we share similar interests?

Let's see, have I expressed an interest in going to India as an evangelical Christian Missionary to save the souls of the heathens?

That would be No.

Am I interested in Bible Study as a member of faith-based organization?

That would be No.

Am I even part of a faith-based organization?

That would be No.

Am I even a Christian?

That would be No.

You can see my confusion as to why religious (read: Christian) groups want to follow me on The Twitter.

So after the latest notification, I decided that maybe I should take a look at my Twitter page and see what the hell is going on.

Oh.  It's my Bio description.

Cheezus, you throw the words, "Baby Jesus" in your bio and these church groups think it's an open invitation.


Did they not read the entire sentence?


I'm make Him cry, Goddammit!


God only knows what these groups would think if they saw what I post on The Facebook.


I don't think they'd be sending me any "friend" requests.


I'm so going to hell in a bucket on a bobsled.