Monday, April 11, 2011

Gosh golly Jeeper whiz just doesn't cut it

You know how I said I was giving up cussing for Lent?  

Yeah, well, fuck that shit.

I know, I know.  Cussing is bad but ya know, sometimes "Oh, poo!" or "Gosh darn it!" just doesn't bring the satisfaction that you get with a good old fashioned truck driver meets drunken sailor meets gangbanger round of expletives.

Like when your husband goes to start his truck up so that he can get on the road to do a job 600+ miles away and the truck does not start.  And it's not going to start so he has to take Thing 1's Red Rocket which isn't the best running vehicle in our tiny stable of vehicles and the odds of THAT breaking down are astronomical and then you get to listen to Thing 1 whine about how he doesn't have a car now and what's HE supposed to do.

And when you call Auto Club to have it towed to the diesel repair place and emphasize that this is a BIG TRUCK  and they assure you that your Triple A membership covers it.

And then the tow truck shows up and the driver says, "Yeah, no.  Trucks of this size aren't covered" and he tells you that it will be at least $300 to tow the Big Truck because they have to get the heavy-duty monster tow truck and when you ask why Triple A said it was covered they tell you that Triple A is Wrong.

And you call Triple A back to demand answers and they tell you that it's the towing company's fault and then the towing company and Triple A continue to blame each other while you're standing there getting more and more pissed every minute.

And then this morning, your WHITE dog, who is so lucky she's cute and sweet because she's never going to win any prizes in the Intelligence Category despite being a mix of the two smartest breeds, goes to jump into the back seat of your car and completely misses and lands with a giant splash in the gutter that is full of muddy, icky water.

Add someone publicly accusing me of being "more than useless" at the job I'm doing and not a single one of the 450+ people I handle coming to my defense although several of them did e-mail me to tell me I'm doing an awesome job but yeah, thanks for sticking up for me.

So the above, among other things, is why the whole "Give up cussing for Lent" idea was totally shitcanned.

But other than that, Mrs. Kennedy, how was Dallas?


  1. Oh honey, I would be cussing up a storm. Which I tend to do daily anyhoo, so no big deal here. But yeah, I would be breaking out some seriously tough language. If you need any suggestions, I am your girl!

    Give 'em hell!!

  2. Wonderful blog.....great cussin'.....Kelly, I love your style!