Wednesday, January 19, 2011

They can haz a dikshunary

Okay, so this morning I was driving home from the park and I stop at a light and there's a truck 2 cars ahead of me and I see a company name on the truck and if my cellphone camera allowed me to take fast pictures, I would have taken a picture of the company name but my cellphone camera does not allow you to snap off quick shots because it's stupid and takes forever to take one picture but anyway.  What I wanted to take a picture of was the name of the construction company because it was something that drives me absolutely nuts.

Anyone who decides it will be cute to spell it "kunstrukshin kumpiny" is somebody I don't want to do business with thankyouverymuch.  Not that I need or want their services but if I did, they would definitely be the contractor I wouldn't be calling.  "Kunstrukshin."  Please. What is this, Romper Room?

There used to be a gym in our lovely town that used cutesy spelling for their name and oh, I HATED it.  "Fysicly Fit" was the name.  Which I always read as "Fiscally Fit" which was a huge joke in itself because the owners turned out to be a couple of con artists (allegedly) who took the money and ran, leaving their customers and employees high and dry.  And out quite a large amount of membership and payroll money.  Should have seen that coming, what with the stupid spelling of the business name.  That right there should have been a red flag, people.  Anyone who uses cutesy spelling for their business name is not to be trusted, I say.

And then there's the people who give their baby a name that's on the Top 10 list of baby names but then because they want their little darling to be unique and stand out from the other 12 kids they know with the same name, they use creative cutesy spelling so that "Ian" becomes "Eighn" which doomed that poor child to a lifetime of people asking how to pronounce his name. Someone I worked with years ago really did spell her son's name that way.  The worst example of cutesy name spelling was someone who decided that the spelling of "Taylor" just wasn't special enough for their child.  Their child (I think it was a girl, I could be wrong) wasn't just an ordinary Taylor, she/he had to be a "Tailhor."  Which is pronounced "Tail Whore" whether that was their intent or not.  And just sets that poor child up for mean jokes about her (his?) name.  Trust me, I know about people making fun of your name.  Kelly Belly.  Smelly Kelly.  Hobo Kelly.  Yeah.  Good times. 

How much you want to bet it was Tail Whore's parents who started the Kunstrukshin Kumpiny?  Any takers?  I didn't think so.


  1. OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! This is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves and I can never talk about it because it seems to be an epidemic problem in small southern towns like mine.

    I know a Jahkee, that would be Jackie. An Arhen, that would be Erin and a Jaycob.

    It's about the most ignorant thing you can do, really, purposefully misspell your child's name to be unique. what? So they can spend a lifetime having people misspell and mispronounce their name? It drives me to the edge of insanity because I realize I'm dealing with the most stupid people on the planet. And I really, really hate stupid.

  2. My sister has a friend who named her son, "Jakk" so OF COURSE we pronounce it "Jack-kuh-kuh" because we gotta make sure both of those K's are acknowledged.
    Because we're mean like that.

  3. OMG! I wish I could tell you the level of contempt I have for people who do this crap! On my last nerve, I tell you!

    There is a small chain of little truck stop places that I see on the outskirts of towns around here that are called "Kuntry Korner". Can you imagine darkening their doors? Never. Hmmmpph!

    And don't get me started on people naming their kids something stupid or as you stated, just a weird variation of spelling on a bad name to start with.

    (Time for me to get off my high horse and go fix breakfast)