Identity crisis

These days, any time you sign up or register for something on the World Wide Web known as the Internet, you are required to choose a user ID and a password. And each ID and password requires a specific number of letters and numbers, some are case-sensitive and some are not. Some must be a combination of letters AND numbers, and some don't need to be a combination of letters AND numbers.

I spent the better part of this morning on the phone with "Sylvia" over in Mumbai or Punjab or wherever trying to figure out why I could not log in to my Verizon online account. This was after trying to navigating my way through the automated phone system that made me want to punch someone in the neck.

Verizon was refusing to recognize either my e-mail address or my phone address. I get told that I probably never registered for the online site (I could have SWORN I had several years ago when I first got Verizon but whatEVER). So now I have to register all over again. And I have to choose a new User ID and password. With all the rules about letter/number combos thrown in for shits and giggles. Oh, and they need the answer to a secret question, which was supposed to be the name of my 1st pet. Unfortunately, our first pet didn't have the minimum number of letters in his name so poor Siam was tossed aside.

Great. We're on a roll here. So I choose a user ID and password. "Sylvia" tells me to go ahead and log in. And guess what? No, not Chicken butt. Verizon doesn't recognize my spanking new user ID and/or password. Of course. Why? Because my new ID with its combination of letters and numbers is case-sensitive and "Sylvia" forgot to mention that important tidbit of information. Several tries later, I still wasn't able to log in using my new case-sensitive User ID and password and "Sylvia" told me to wait about an hour and try again. Which I have yet to do.

I have a little notebook where I write down all my User names and passwords for the various websites and accounts I have. If I ever lose that book, I'm utterly and completely screwed. Currently, I have about 20 accounts that all require User ID's and passwords. Everything from messageboard log-ins to bank accounts to medical insurance and cell phone accounts. Not to mention the multiple e-mail accounts I have for various (but not nefarious) purposes. And since you're not supposed to use the same ID and password, I've had to come up with 20 different User ID's and passwords, which is why I've had to write them down because there is no fucking way I can remember all that. I really need to make sure I keep that book in a safe place but at the rate I'm going, I'll forget where I stashed it.

And you wanna hear something funny? I can't remember my administrator ID and password for my very own website. Now that's bad right there. I *think* I have that info with all my paperwork for my bidness, DeJongh Racing, but I'm not positive on that.

All right. It's been over an hour. I need to see if I can log on to my Verizon account. I hope I can remember who I am.