Thursday, September 10, 2009

Fun (or Not) With Facebook

Like a jillion other people, I too have signed up with Facebook. Which is supposed to be the adult version of MySpace. It's cool, I've been able to keep in touch with relatives who I'm only able to see once a year (if that) and I've found friends I haven't talked to or heard from since high school. In fact, shortly after I included this picture on an earlier blog post:

My date from that photo contacted me via Facebook. What a co-inky-dink! Hey! I have an idea! If I post a photo of George Parros would I get a Facebook Friend request from him? Let's find out, shall we? Cuz I love me some George!

So anyways, Facebook is nice. But I just don't get all the games and chain-mail type of crap that I'm constantly being flooded with. This week alone, I've received the following:
- "Are You a Vampire of Werewolf?" Neither. I'm annoyed.
- "Kiss the one you wouldn't mind snoging (sic)" Hello? It's spelled "snogging." With double G's. Rhymes with "blogging."
- "Someone sent you A Blue Rose." What the hell is a Blue Rose and why is it Blue and not Red or Pink or any of the other natural rose colors?
- "Someone sent you a Mommie Award." So, what's my award? It better be my very own Arcade Skee-ball game complete with prize tickets or I'm gonna be pissed.
- "Someone sent you a Supreme Gagball Deluxe!" Ok, is this a passive/aggressive way of telling me I have a big mouth and it needs to be gagged? Bite me.
- "Someone sent you a Mygift2U" Ok, if there's one thing I hate it's "text speak." Especially when it's not in a text. So Stop It. C U L8tr.
- "Someone sent you a Jack & Coke!" I don't drink Jack & Coke in the 3D world and I'm not going to start in the internet world.
- "Someone sent you a hug and a kiss!" Aw, how nice. Now stop.
- "What beer are you?" What, do I LOOK like I'm shaped like a bottle or can? Are you trying to tell me I'm all hopped up? Get it? "Hopped up" because there's hops in beer? Never mind.

And each of these application requests demands that you then forward them on to 10 to 25 of your Facebook friends! What, has Facebook become one giant chain letter? I hate chain letters of any kind and refuse to forward them on. I forward them straight to the trash. Yes people, I'm the Chainbreaker! I'm the reason the world has such bad luck because I. BROKE. THE. CHAIN!

And what's with all the games? Until I figured out how to block the applications, my profile page was nothing but people going on and on about Farmville, Yoville, Whoville, What EVERville. I get people asking me to join their teams for Fashion Wars, Mafia Wars, Star Wars. Play this game, play that game, join this team, farm, family, village.

But the best, really, had to be when someone sent this to me "So-and-so is a fan of Sarah Palin! Why don't you become a fan of Sarah Palin, too!" Ok, last night TheManTheMyth was watching a History Channel show about Nostradamus and his prediction of the third Anti-Christ but nobody knows who the third Anti-Christ is. Well, I do. It's Sarah Palin. Seriously. And I value my soul way too much to become Facebook Friends with the Anti-Christ.

So George? Friend me, baby! I promise I won't forward any of those stupid applications to you.


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