Dear Soaker*

A couple of weeks ago, I went out to my car and saw a cup of water and a handful of kibble next to it. I assumed TheManTheMyth had put his cup of water on the ground when he got in the car and forgot about it. I couldn't explain the kibble, though. A day or two later, I got the explanation: TheManTheMyth was heading to his truck early one morning when a cat came running out of the dark at him, yowling and demanding attention. Since Kitty was so insistent, weaving in and out of his legs and purring, TheManTheMyth assumed that Kitty was hungry and went and grabbed a handful of Lucy's kibble and some water to wash it down. While Kitty was gobbling the food, TheManTheMyth continued on his way.

When he told me about this, he described the cat as a gray cat. Knowing we have raccoons in the neighborhood, I jokingly asked him if Kitty had a black mask and a ringed tail. Hardy har har, said TheManTheMyth.

Well since then, Kitty has taken to hanging around our house, hoping for another handout. This morning, I was getting ready to take a shower and I heard the familiar yowling right outside the bathroom window. It was Kitty, sunbathing in a patch of sunlight but he had heard me through the window and was letting me know that if I wanted to toss him some kibble, he wouldn't decline it.

Still in my robe, I go outside and Kitty comes a-running. He proceeds to purr and rub against me legs, flopping onto his side while I scratch his head and ears. But he reminds me he wants food so I go and grab some of Lucy's kibble and he starts gobbling away:

Obviously, he's not a raccoon.

He ate every bite and demanded more so I also went and got him a dish of milk. He thought he had died and gone to Kitty Heaven.

Once he had finished his breakfast, he needed to discuss some things with me:

such as when he'd like his meals, and that he likes his ears scratched just so and why yes, he DOES like sitting in laps while his ears are getting scratched.

But here's the problem(s):

Yeah, them's are Big Balls. What we've got heah, is failure to fix a feline. I'm pretty sure that Kitty is one of the feral cats that have been living in the shrubbery behind the neighbor's house that backs up to the freeway.

The last thing I need right now is another animal. I already have a very jealous Special Needs dog

who demands the majority of my time, attention AND money.

I know I need to be responsible and at least catch Kitty and take him to get neutered. Who knows how many litters he's fathered. And if, IF, I get him neutered, it's only right that he get vaccinated so that he doesn't catch any icky diseases. And he'll need flea control, too. Oh, and a name. "Kitty" doesn't quite work for a big, strong male cat with powerful lungs.

I'm screwed.

* This was from an episode of Gilligan's Island where Gilligan mis-read a note that actually said, "Dear Suckers." "Dear Soaker" has become part of the Perkins Family Language and is only used regarding unplanned animal adoption.