How I'm able to find anything in this black hole of a desk is simply miraculous. It doesn't help that my desk is massive, although it's hard to tell from the photo. Seriously, this thing is almost 4 feet deep, 6-1/2 feet long along with a 3-1/2 foot return. All this means is that I have lots of space for crap on my desk. In my desk. Under my desk.
Here's some of the crap on my desk right now: a 1:64 scale 24K Gold plated commemorative 50th Anniversary NASCAR diecast still in its original packaging, a lottery ticket from April 25 (LOSER), a tea light candle in a small glass covered in crepe paper squares that one of the kids made in elementary school, those things you grip and squeeze to build up your forearms, a dictionary, a thesaurus, a Bible (what the...??) a couple of checks that need to be deposited, a stapler that is so heavy it can double as a bludgeon, a basket I toss my magazines into when I'm done reading them so that I can pass them on to my friend Shellie, a photo of Thing 2, an accordion file folder, manila folders filled with paperwork that needs to be processed, a blood glucose monitoring system (for Lucy), a fork, a tape measure, several stacks of Official District 37 approved numbers and a canister filled with pencils that all have broken leads, pens that are all out of ink and scissors that won't cut. All this along with my dying-a-slow-death iMac, gigantic HP Printer that will not fax multiple page documents and laptop computer that is buried under the several manila folders filled with paperwork that needs to be processed.
I really need to stop typing and start cleaning but that would take effort and Lord knows I hate to make an effort.
Great, my BlackBerry just rang and while I could hear it, I couldn't find it in time. That's my cue to start cleaning.
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