IN WHICH I AM BEING SABOTAGED

Any time one embarks on a quest for self-improvement via weight loss and exercise, it's not uncommon to encounter some sort of sabotage from friends and/or family.

"Oh, go on and eat that Double Double!  You know you want to!"

"You'd better not lose any more weight, you're getting too thin."

"Oh, should you really DO that 10K/spin class/Zumba?  I wouldn't do it if I were you.  You might hurt yourself."

So I wasn't surprised to discover that yes, I was being sabotaged in my fitness efforts but I WAS shocked at the identity of my saboteur:

That's right.

My dog.

I've committed to doing the Run Seal Beach 10K next month (although I'm walking it because F Cup breasticles aren't made for the running) so I've been walking walking walking and since Gracie Lou insists on her twice daily walks (after dropping off Thing 2 at school and before picking up Thing 2 from school), I figured it was a Win/Win for both of us.

I figured wrong.

We seem to have two different ideas of what a Walk should be.

MY idea is to walk at a brisk pace, not stopping until we have clocked in a minimum of 2 miles.

HER idea is as follows:

Trot at a brisk pace.

Then STOP.

Sniff:

Then pee.

Repeat every 20 feet.  Stop.  Sniff.  Pee.

And if I try to continue while she is stopping, sniffing and peeing, I am brought up short by the leash and for a small dog, she is unmovable when she decides to stop.  Sniff.  Pee.

There have been times I've literally been leaning forward like the Leaning Tower of Pisa while she is planted 15' behind me, refusing to budge and giving me the stink eye.

"Ve vill moof ven I am reddy!  Ja?"

This is why a walk that should take no more than 30 minutes can take up to an hour.

Stop.  Sniff.  Pee.

It's even MORE fun when we're walking along and SQUIRREL!  Then my arm gets yanked out of my shoulder socket when she spies a squirrel and has to take off after it.

That's about the ONLY time she doesn't do Stop. Sniff. Pee.

If I try to sneak out of the house to do a good walk without her, well, I can't. 

She somehow senses my intentions and will fling herself in front of the door, preventing me from leaving without her.

But I WILL prevail!

In other news, look what I got on Wednesday:

That key fob is from Weight Watchers for reaching my original weight loss goal and I am very, VERY proud of it.

Now I'm on to the next level of weight loss.

And I WILL prevail.

Despite my dog's sabotage attempts.

She's lucky she's cute.