Saturday, March 12, 2011

Fending off the JW, one autograph at a time

Since it appears the world is going to end, what with massive earthquakes and tsunamis, the Door-to-door religious folk thought this was the perfect time to hit the neighborhoods with Bibles and Watchtower pamphlets in hand to try and save some souls.

Well, good for them and bless their hearts.  As long as they don't bother me.

Too late.  The knock is heard at the door.  But THIS time, I was prepared.

I open the door and the nice Bible lady is standing there and before I could say a word, she flips that sucker open and starts reading from Revelation, only she said, "Revelations," and I didn't want to be rude because she seemed like such a nice lady so I stood there and waited for her to finish reading her Revelations and when she finished, I said, "Thank you, that was lovely" and she whipped out one of her Watchtower pamphlets and said, "I'd like to give you this gift" and *I* said, "Why, thank you, I'd like to give YOU a gift as well!" 

And I opened the screen door, gave her one of these:
and told her to Have a Nice Day.  She stood there looking rather confused and not as thrilled as she should have been to receive a Genuine Autographed publicity glossy of Thing 1.

I mean, who wouldn't want to have one of these highly collectible items?  It's AUTOGRAPHED.

I shut the door and went about my day with a smile on my face because it was Jehovah's Witnesses - 0, Kelly - 1.



  1. Oooooh, I like this!!

    Why American men should boycott American women

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.