Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Gray Gardens of Hair

I don't know how many times in the last week that I've typed up a blog post only to look at the finished but unpublished product and have thought to myself, "This is crap."  I don't know what is wrong with me but I seem to have lost my mojo for having something, anything funny or witty or interesting or intelligent to say.

I've had a topic in mind but didn't put it into writing and then I'll go read someone else's blog and see that they wrote about the very topic I was going to write about and I'm all, "Great, I can't write about that, people will think I'm a copy cat" and I have to come up with something else and the same thing happens all over again and it's a tough job blogging, even if nobody reads it.

Anyway, right now I'm sitting here with Garnier Nutrisse hair dye on my head, "Sangria" is the shade, and I can't remember how long it's been on my hair but I figure with the amount of gray hairs on my head, the longer the better although sometimes if I leave the hair color on my head too long I end up with magenta hair which would be ok if I were a 23 year old Goth chick instead of an over-the-hill NOT Goth mother to two teenagers, one of whom is going off to college in a month but is being a total slug in the meantime.  One time, my then-teenage nephew was looking at my hair with a funny look on his face and finally he blurted out, "Dang Aunt Kelly, your hair is purple!" and everyone laughed and I was all haha but at least the gray was covered up and that's what's important here because I got lots of gray.  Probably more than both my sisters combined and I'm the youngest.  It's so not fair.


Every so often I wonder what I'd look like if I were to stop coloring my hair and embrace my "natural" look and then I snap out of it.  It would be one thing if my gray was a lovely silvery-white like Heloise from Hints From Heloise but because it's Me, it's more of a dingy yellowish gray that would make me look like I should be wearing hemp clothing and Birkenstocks with white athletic socks be surrounded by cats and my own sculptures created from Budweiser cans and empty mascara tubes and well, that's just not who I Am.


Ok, I took a break from typing this so that I could go and rinse the hair color out of my hair because I realized that it was starting to kind of dry which means it had been on just a bit too long.  The good news is that my hair has only a slightly purplish tinge to it.  The bad news is that I always seem to miss a small section in front of my ear and I don't notice it until it's too late.


I hate it when that happens.  It's like my gray hair is mocking me and is all "You can dye but you can't hide.  I win, Gypsy." 

Bastards. 

1 comment:

  1. My friend highlighted my hair once. That was the last time I ever tried to attempt something I have zero talent for. We ended up turning my hair steel gray. It was one of the most panicked moments of my life. We called the Loreal people from the number on the side of the box and they were like magicians. They told me to buy three different shades. They told me which ones to buy, they weren't like, "Just buy 3 shades, any ole shades will do." No. They told me certain ones and then they told me to mix them altogether and plop them on my head and wouldn't you know, if that wasn't the prettiest hair color ever.

    I didn't do it anymore after that. I figured I'd have to turn my hair gray first every time I wanted that color. And that can't be too good for a person's hair.

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