Ok, so yesterday I actually got some mail, snail mail, addressed to me. How excited was I to find out I was to be congratulated because I have been Pre-Qualified to receive a Genuine Chevron (with Techron) credit card. And because I'm so extra special, I don't have to go through that pesky application process because I am Pre-Qualified!
Are you jealous yet? Yeah, I knew you would be. Because not everyone is Pre-Qualified to get their very own Chevron (with Techron) credit card that is good at over 9,500 Chevron and Texaco (also with Techron) gas stations across this great land of ours.
Ok, I actually get credit card offers all the time and they all get sent right into my cross-cut shredder but this one just cracked me up. Why, you ask? I'll tell you. It was the little letter/card that came with it. It was from "Robert" and says, "Dear Friend, Frankly I'm puzzled that you would say "no" to this offer..."
Well Robert, frankly I'm puzzled that you honestly expect me to sign up for a credit card with an annual percentage rate of 26.99. I just about crapped my pants when I saw the interest rate. Seriously, my local loan shark (Thing 2) charges less interest than that and believe me, her rates are pretty high. And if you don't pay up, she WILL extract her pound of flesh and then charge you for the labor of extracting said pound of flesh. And then tax you on it. Thing 2 may look all sweet and innocent but she takes money matters VERY serious. Trust me, you don't want to be in arrears with her.
So the fact that I do not have an income-producing job doesn't faze Chevron (with Techron) a bit. They still want to issue me one of their credit cards. Sadly, I will have to say "no" to their offer, even if it, frankly, puzzles ol' Robert there. Maybe when the money tree in the backyard starts producing even though it seems to have been in a dormant state for a few decades, I'll throw caution to the wind and accept Robert's generous offer. Or not, especially with that interest rate. I'll pass, thanks.