The Mirror Crack'd

It's Theme Thursday and the theme for this Thursday is Mirrors.  

My oldest sister had a dog, a Husky named Cindy, who LOVED to stare at herself in the mirror.  Cindy was one of the most vainglorious animals who ever lived.  Not only did she love to admire herself in the mirror on a regular basis, she would escape from her leash and play keepaway until someone told her how beautiful she was and then she'd come trotting back, all happy and smug.  She was a funny dog.  A bit incorrigible until my sister got a 2nd dog and since Cindy now had her own pet dog, she became better behaved since Calvin acknowledged her Alpha Dog status.


Sometimes, I wish I had the mirrors that some of the people featured on People of Walmart use.  Because those have to be some kind of magic mirrors if those people leave their trailer or crackhouse and go out in public dressed the way they do.  It's like they cram their 300lb body into tube tops and hot pants and their magic mirror tells them, "Damn woman, you are HOT!  You should be the Playboy Playmate of the Millenium cuz you are lookin' FINE!"

As I've gotten older, I have discovered that mirrors are not always your friend.  Especially those magnifying mirrors.  They're mean and cruel.  I don't know how many times I've looked into a magnifying mirror and gasped in horror because there was a rogue hair sticking out and looking like a tusk and wondered why oh why didn't anyone TELL me I looked like a wild boar and how many people would snicker as I toddled happily along, completely oblivious to the tusk on my face.


Regular magnifying mirrors are bad enough but lemme give you a Public Service Announcement:  never, EVER look into one of those 1000x Magnifying Mirrors because you will see things on your face that you would have been much better off not knowing they were there because it will haunt you.  It's like looking at a drop of water and it's all crystal clear and then you look at that drop under a microscope and it's filled with all sorts of icky things and you realize that you had drank that water and now are positive that parasites are going to start growing inside of you and you'll get sicker and sicker and it's all because you looked at something you were better off not seeing.


That's what those 1000x magnifying mirrors do.  They ruin your life.